Guess who's back... Back again... Lily's back, tell some friends

I really need to stop going so long without updating you guys about what's going on... For those of you who have stuck around during the accidental hiatus, thank you very much, and I'm sorry for the long break, it will be explained. This entry is going to explain a bit, and it'll be short-ish for now, but I am going to be updating more.

Alright, so I guess I should begin with the fact that I officially have my laptop back from the pawn shop after almost a year of it being in there.  I put it in there on 10-17-13 and got it out on 9-12-14. I hadn't planned on getting it out when I did but Nojuan's laptop won't even turn on anymore, so I had to get mine out ASAP.

Dylan is no longer my manager and hasn't been since May, maybe June at the latest, because he couldn't handle all of the crap Jenny was putting him through. Kandice became my manager and we'll talk more about her in the next entry. My new manager is... Tanner. I mentioned him forever ago and I didn't like him much then, but now I do. Again, that's a discussion for the next entry.

One thing I want to talk about involving Tanner though, is the fact that under his leadership I have become one of the store's assisstant managers! I'm actually on the track to becoming a GM for Domino's, and I only need to learn schedule making and how to do the Profit and Loss (PNL) paperwork at the end of every week. Other than that I'm almost a store manager and I have Tanner of all people to thank for that.

I need to get back into blogging because I found out that I have a personality disorder, ontop of my PTSD, and my shrink suggested I get back into blogging because it will be a therapy for when I can't see her. So, the app has been downloaded on my phone again and I'm going to update more often.

I have some stuff I need to do tonight so I have to cut this short, but as I said, I will be updating more often now.

Signing off,
Lily

I just need to get this out there really quickly because I have stuff to do, but I just found out that Gary Oldman played Mason Verger in Hannibal.... My brain just exploded.

I'll be back later.

Signing off,
Lily

I have to talk about this... A friend of mine has been openly Transgendered since '06, and I'm happily the one he chose to come out to before everyone else. We had only been friends for 9 years at the time, and we're still friends, going on year 17 as of this June. I would not change one thing about him. He is my friend, no matter what he is because of who he is.

Until he came out to me, I honestly didn't know there was such a thing as Trans, because I was raised in a horrible home. Racism, homophobia, ignorance. It was all constantly shoveled down my throat but none of it stuck because my Grandfather made sure it didn't. From the time he came out to me, I accepted my friend, and something else happened...

I felt my heart break when certain events came from his coming out. It showed me what some Trans people go through with their friends and families, and I cried. I didn't just cry for him, I cried for others like them. I feel so horrible that those out there have to live in bodies not right for them just because their genetics went wonky on them and threw a curve ball they weren't expecting. I hate what all of them have to go through because it's not fair dammit.

And then today.... I found out that the people I have been fighting for, and standing besides, have started a new movement. Cishet hate... Why? Yeah, some of us are assholes and treat them like shit, but there are people like me. People who stick by them and protect them as much as we can.

I know not all Trans-folk are like that, but to those that are, why do this? There are plenty of support groups out there, and plenty of people who love you. You don't want people to hate you for how you were born, why do it to someone else? People on both sides of the line need to stop this kind of stupid behavior and accept one another as we wish others would accept us.

Signing off,
Lily

You know, sometimes I get an unexpected reality check about the oddest of things. This morning, on my way in to work to open the store, we passed this house. It's run down, needs to be torn down, but recently someone put some graffiti on it. I see it, and I'm just looking at it like, "Well that's a shame."

But to my left, in the driver's seat, the guy I get my rides from, Gary, pops out with a prize line. "They need to tear that place down." Well yeah.... "Damn Mexicans spray painted all over the damn place." Wait....what? o.0?

Where the hell did that come from? It doesn't stop there. He goes on a small tangent about the Mexicans spray painting, only doing it in Spanish, and you can't understand it if you're American. The whole time I'm so caught off guard by what I'm hearing that I just don't know what to say... I manage to chime in that it could just be some kids, but he directs it back to not understanding what the Mexicans are trying to tell people with the spray painting.

"Are they telling rival gangs something?" ---- How did that used to be the norm? I think the better question is, why is this kind of ignorance still around?

My grandfather would be older than Gary if he were still alive, and HE raised me with a completely opposite view of the world. So why is someone from a younger generation displaying this ignorance? I just don't get it...

Anyway, we're close to work now so I have to go.

Signing off,
Lily

Honestly, all I feel is pain. My lower back went out around 10am (EST) and my upper went out around 2pm. It's now 11:40pm and I'm still in pain, only it's spread.

I'll be blogging tomorrow. I'm going to be doing one of the exercises my shrink wants me to do. It's going to look weird, but I review my blog sometimes so it'll be better for me to do it this way.

Signing off for now,
Lily

Things are not going the way I would like them to right now...

I found out a week ago that Wells Fargo bought out my family's home from underneath them after a battle lasting over few months. My gram and mom had been trying to sell the house for more than what they owed on the mortgage so they could have some kind of moving expense, but every time they had someone willing to pay just that, WF would cockblock and end the sale. Now, they decided to amp up the douchebag nature the company by paying EXACTLY what was owed for the house, meaning somehow with no money my family had to move to Indiana.

How the Hell is that going to work?

So Friday night my mom called me and told me that they're going to be here today/Sunday... Come again? Apparently what my mom neglected to tell me when she spoke to me a week ago, was that WF was giving them 7 days to get out of the house, but they have to be back in May to pick up the $802 (USD) check they managed to get WF to give them to move on.

So I had to rush make plans to be able to find a place to store my stuff, which luckily Nojuan's dad and brother are willing to let us store the stuff in their basement since they don't use it. But right now I'm having a bit of a depression creep up on me.

You see, I may not have a car right now, but until the house got bought out from beneath them, I knew that when I got a car I would be able to go down to FL and see my grandmother. But now, getting up to IN to see her is going to be a bit more difficult. I could make a foolish 2 days off trip down to FL for a short visit. If I were to try to visit her in IN, then it would have to be a few more days off of work, and I can't really afford that until I start making more money.

Of course I could make a 4 day trip work out by requesting off the last 2 days of one work week, and the first 2 days of the next. But anything more than that and my checks would diminish drastically for that period. But aside from that, it'll be the official last time in God knows how long that I get to see my Uncle Mark. He and I are close, but he's too busy to try to sync up a visit with. I haven't seen him since 2009 as it is. Now I'm looking at longer. It's just too much for me... Thank the Gods I have my next shrink appointment on Wednesday.

I never though I would find myself actually looking forward to the visit coming sooner so that I can try to work through the problems going on in my head. But here I am, wishing it was Wednesday so I can talk to my Doctor.

Anyway, I need to get to bed so I can open tomorrow. I'll keep you guys posted on how it goes.

Signing off,
Lily

So I had my appointment with the doctor today... She was surprisingly a lot easier to talk to than I thought she would be, given my prior past attempt at seeing a shrink. I have to let her know on Friday what my next free day would be to see her, and I don't mind that as I much as I expected myself to.

I'm not going to go into details, but the bottom line is that it went good.

Honestly, I'm tired, so I don't feel like saying a lot, I just wanted you all to know that I'm doing okay, and I had my appointment today.

I'll write more another time, when I'm not feeling this drained.

Signing off,
Lily

Okay, so one of the things I was supposed to do today was go get some food for the place, and to do this, I had to get a ride from Gary. And everything was fine until we had to go through downtown Kennesaw, to avoid the parking lot that was Cobb Pkwy, and in downtown Kennesaw, there is a semi-famous building, seen below.

If you look in the top/middle of the picture, you'll see a flag pole, but the flag is cut out; it's a black flag.

First off, to see for yourself, go to Google Maps and look up the address: 2879 S Main St, Kennesaw, GA 30144. Go to street view and take a look. If you went, welcome back. If you didn't go, then let's continue.

Anywho, when we started going through downtown Kennesaw, Gary started talking about a business that's been in trouble with the county before about being told to clean the property up and get rid of all of the "Redneck" and "racist" material or face trouble. I'm thinking to myself, "I used to make deliveries all up and down this road, what place could be that bad to cause a problem?" As we come around the curve of the road, there is is.

Dent Meyers Civil War Surplus and Herb Shop.... You can find an article about it here. The writer is a bit -eh- but the article gets the point across about the guy. And Gary is wrong.

While we're driving by, Gary points out the black flag and says, "It's a sign that they don't want black people in there." Until today I had never even noticed the flag, because who really looks at a building just to look at their flags? But when Gary says this, all I can do is wonder if the owner knows this, if it's true, and a whole bunch of other things, so I decided I would look that up when I got home.  During this time Gary starts talking again about all the Confederate "junk" and "clutter" all over the place, saying it should be cleaned up and taken down. The thing is, though, as soon as I saw what building he was talking about, I realized that I've been in that building. It's basically a freaking museum dedicated to our history. Yes, some of the stuff is racist, but then again, in our history, the South has always been the more racist part of the country when it boils down to North or South. There are bound to be racist things in there.

Not only that, but the Confederate memorabilia, not junk, that is posted outside is done in a very tasteful manner to properly display the piece. It's not cluttered about, or just....UGH, it frustrated me to hear such ignorance. This made me just want to look into what the black flag meant, because if he had these wrong notions about the store, what else was he wrong about? So I did.

It's better to read the article above before reading the article to the right. ---->This is the truth about the black flag.<---- Part of me wants to tell Gary the truth, because no one should walk around being that ill-informed. But the other part of me thinks he would stand to listen to anything I have to say in the matter. He was too damned determined sounding when he was speaking. You know that tone, the one that says the person with it won't listen to anything you have to say.

On a lighter note, I don't know if any of my fellow Cumbercookies read this blog or not, but you should watch the videos below and smile as much as I do when I watch them.

God, that wink at the end... Damn bastard.

Hope you all enjoyed the videos as much as I did. Well, thanks for giving me someone to rant to, I definitely needed it. That rant had been building up all day long and it just had to come out. Until next time folks!

Signing off,

Lily

So I have a few things I need to do today again, but I wanted to pop in real quick to share something with you. It's a video that is very well done, and it is a bit dark. It does poke at religious people, but it also tells a very good story, and one that should be learned. That being said, please watch the video.

So, if you did see it, what did you think? I absolutely fell in love with it because of how well it was done in general. The story being properly portrayed made it even better. The fact that the Undertaker was whistling "Itsy Bitsy Spider" at the end was an awesome addition.

Anyway I'm going to get to work on my stuff. I might be back later.

Signing off,
Lily

So it's 6 days until my meeting with Dr. Wendell, and I've caught myself intentionally not thinking about it, instead of slowly leading myself into it like I had planned to. I need to stop, because I can't let myself go into that battle without the proper preparations... I know I'll regret it if I do.

Anyway, so I've been sick the past few days. Kind of came out of nowhere, so fast, that on the first night I had completely lost my voice and couldn't even manage a whisper. The thing that's good, is that Dylan has been awesome about having me switch shifts with people so I'm not having to go in when I first wake up, when it seems like my body is making up for all the misery I missed out on when I was sleeping. But what irritates me is Jenny. Ever since I came to the Baker Rd store, I have come in early, stayed late, and even came in on days off for the littlest of reasons, all because she asked me to.

She's been sick, she's had sick kids, she's had a kid get injured, her boyfriend hurt himself and wind up in the hospital, and alllllllll of those times, I jumped in to get the extra hours, and because I wanted to help her out. My BIGGEST mistake was thinking that when I got sick, like now, that she would return the favor at least ONE day. Come in early for me since we were dead as Hell and it was the first day so I was at my worst. Her excuse was that she had things going on after work so she couldn't come in even an hour for me. Now today she wants me to come in EXTRA early just so she can go see a movie with her kids!? Seriously!?

I was so sick and feverish and she wouldn't come in for one extra hour, but I'm supposed to hop in 3 hours early so she can see a movie? Nope. No. Not happening. She can wait til I get like I had to when she wouldn't come in for me. Screw her.

You know, ever since she got demoted to Assistant Managers it's like she has no fucks to give, and it's not fair that I'm having to pick up her slack. I'm not doing it anymore.

Onto a lighter note, things outside of work are going pretty okay. Xan is trying to get a job at my Domino's, and so far things are looking good for it, but we'll see. He's not getting anymore hours at the computer place, just keeps getting jerked around, so that's what made him finally start looking for something else. Nojuan's dad MIGHT be giving us a car, but I'm not holding my breath since that man is the king of procrastination unless it's something that benefits him, so who knows how long it will be until we actually get that.

But anyway, I've got stuff I'd planned to do before work, and before Nojuan wakes up, so I'm off to go work on it =).

Signing off,
Lily

So, I have 11 days until I meet Dr. Wendell for the first time... I don't think I've mentioned her before now... Looking back over the last few days, no I haven't mentioned her before... One thing I did mention before, was on the 20th of last a month I got a letter about a safety recall on my old Saturn, about the airbags not deploying in an accident. I mentioned how I was going to try to get some compensation due to the PTSD I've been suffering through since the accident. Well I called around and every lawyer I spoke with said that I needed to get medical proof that I had it. So I started looking.

Besides wanting proof that I've been suffering because of the accident, I also want to try to get some help with my problems. I can't really afford a Doctor, but I can't afford to keep suffering like I am, it's damaging my health in more ways than one. Besides, once I get myself started with her, I can get Nojuan in to see her since she also does things with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) patients, and she can help us prove that he does have it so we can try to get him some help of his own.

I'm nervous as Hell about this meeting with her on the 14th, since I have a pysch-phobia. My first introductions to shrinks wasn't the best of intros, so since then I can't even think of talking to one. This meeting already has my nerves rattled, and it's still over a week away. In a way I want it to get here as quick as it can, so I can be done and over with it... But to the other side of it, I don't want it to get here at all, so I can take my time getting to it, and not have to deal with it anytime soon. My fears rock my nerves to the core. It's so bad I could barely talk to the psychiatrist that was evaluating Nojuan for his BPD hearing. It wasn't even in relation to me and I had trouble dealing with it. I was glad I had the day off because Nojuan ended p having to drive us home since I couldn't make myself get behind the wheel. I was a shaking, drained mess, so I'm kind of glad the old Beaver downstairs is nice enough to give me rides.

Anyway, I might getting back into writing, but I'll keep you guys posted on that. I need to get some rest.

Signing off,
Lily

I just wanted to say that today is a lovely, grey day. I don't know what it is but I absolutely LOVE when days are grey. Maybe it's the English in my blood lol.

Also, today is my gran's birthday, and her twin sister Jo Ann, so I need to remember to call them both at some point.

Other than that I'm headed in to work right now on opening shift. Hopefully today won't be too bad. My ankle is still messed up but it doesn't hurt as bad as it used to anymore. Every now and then I have a warning pain, but that's about it. Well, we're getting close to the store so I have to go. I'll try to come back later and give you guys more of a blog =)

Signing off,
Lily

Random thing happened while I was checking the mail today... I got a letter from Saturn, well, GM, stating there is a safety recall on my vehicle. My VIN matched one of the ones affected by the issue. I saw the envelope and thought to myself, "Oh my God, please be about the brakes, so I can prove they messed up like I've been telling people!" And no... It's not the brakes. It's the airbags.

Apparently there is a possibility they wouldn't deploy in an accident, and ever since my accident I've been having PTSD issues BECAUSE they didn't deploy. I constantly have nightmares about it, and I can't even be a passenger in a car anymore because I'm afraid of what might happen. So I'm going to be contacting a lawyer about it, and see what might come of it.

Maybe I'll be as lucky as this guy....

That was just some serious luck. Seriously.

Anyway, I have stuff to get done, so I'll come back later.

Signing off,

Lily

Will post more later but this is more important at the moment.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/stop-sopa-2014/q0Vkk0Zr  - EVERYONE needs to sign this! It's very important!!!

If you view any form of fan art, whatsoever, you NEED to sign this to keep SOPA from happening. It's all explained on the page that the link leads to. Please go there and sign it!

Signing off,
Lily

I know it's been a bit, but really, lately, it's all kind of going to crap. I was in the hospital recently due to being over-stressed, and I had to make it clear how I felt about the Xan situation. It's starting to affect my health and that's not really okay at all. Right now my health is all I have and if I lose that then I can't keep going for Nojuan. He wants me to take better care of myself, not just for him, but for me too. Kind of hard to consider myself when I can't even stand myself...

Um, recent news, Nojuan and I have been going back and forth between watching Lost and the TV series Sherlock. That's honestly about it really, besides the fact that this week is the week I find out whether or not I'm going to have to give Xan an ultimatum.

I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but I've told Nojuan that if Xan's check isn't enough to cover his week of rent then he's going to given 2 paychecks to do one of the following:

1) Get more hours at work (They gave him the option of coming in to do the sign waving again to pull more hours and he hasn't done it ONCE since the offer was given.)
2) Get a second job. (Something he can work during some of the 5 days a week he's not working at the computer place.)
3) Or, get out.

It should not take a screaming match to get him to help out around the place since all he does is sit around and do nothing when he's not at work. Today, for example, he slept the entire day until I got home and got pissed because after working all day I had to come home and clean things HE could have done instead of being a lazy folf.

We live in a super tiny place. Any messes that would seem small in a normal-sized home are huge in this tiny space. I am sick of coming home and feeling like a single mom who just got home to find the mess her kids made. It's part of the reason I have as much stress as I do, and him not making any efforts is not helping any, so if he can't make changes like I had to then I want my biggest stress factor gone.

Anyway, I'm going to head to bed. It's 1:17am (EST) right now and I close tomorrow so I definitely want to be well rested so I'm not dragging tomorrow.

Signing off,
Lily

So the snow melted pretty quickly this time around, which surprised me since it stayed so long last time. We had it lingering for days, but this time when I finally woke up today it was almost all gone. This Georgia weather is making my head hurt, semi quite literally. The varying pressures keeps messing with my inner ears and I think I'm getting an infection in my right one as it is.

But anyway, I've recently told Nojuan the truth, that I don't feel like I can talk to him anymore because it just keeps ending in fights, and although it did hurt his feelings, we talked about it some more to try to work it out. I didn't tell him what I couldn't talk to him about, just that I felt like I couldn't, and he said he would try to work on it.... But then I tested him a couple of times, without him knowing it, and I had to end it when things started to get tense, before they could grow into a fight. I just wish I could help him see things from y perspective, but he just can't. So, I'll just have to keep my mouth shut, which is really bugging me, but what can I do when everything I have to say on a matter causes a fight?

I think I should clarify, that I'm not mad at Nojuan, he just wants to keep the peace, like I do, and that's why he brushes off what I say at times, I just wish he would handle it differently. What I need to talk about with him is my biggest problem right now, and I know that if I talk about it, then it'll just end in a fight. Especially since I can't talk to Xan, since he's part of the reason talks keep ending up in a fight. Anytime I point out he's doing something wrong, even if I'm not aggressive about how I say what the problem is, he tries to excuse his way out of it even though there are no excuses.

All of this really is getting frustrating, and I just want the drama of it to stop. But for right now, I'm going to get off of here and see about watching some more Arrow until Nojuan rejoins the land of the living.

Signing off,
Lily

Okay, living in Georgia is not fun right now as many of you might have heard. In my area there is so much white all over the place, but none of it is snow, just a bunch of tightly packed ice that is slush in some places. No one was able to get in and open the store today, so I got to keep my day off that was almost taken away from me. It was only almost taken away because I'm the one who can open that lives closest to the store....

...Did these people forget I still don't have a car yet? I mean, I'm still working on it, but with the money problems we were having, that have dimmed slightly (which is awesome!!), it hasn't been easy to save for a car.

It honestly seems like everytime we get a little bit of money saved back, something happens that throws us back, past the 3 steps we've managed to take forward. Luckily though my tax check helped us out, and the pay raise is helping too. I'm just glad things are finally starting to look up again; it's been way too long since we had good.

So how's winter treating everyone else? I keep hearing about power outages because of heavy snow and ice, and I'm so sorry to those who are going through that right now. Being from Florida I've been there, but because of hurricanes and few tornadoes. Hell, Frances and Andrew were the worst two I've been through and they downed the power. Most hurricanes just make stuff flicker in my part of town, but outages have happened and they are not fun.

Well, I'm going to hop of here and make dinner for everyone. Good luck folks!

Signing off,
Lily

Not headed into the chat today folks. Today before work, it's going to be just me, my cereal, and me on Netflix, giving Arrow a try. I did want to do a quick blog though, to say I've recently started giving the Sherlock series a chance.

On that note, have you guys noticed how similar the guy who plays Watson, Martin Freeman, and the guy who played The Master in Doctor Who, John Simm, look a like? It's kind of eerie to me for some reason. Maybe it's the fact that two people who aren't related look so similar. It's always bugged me XD.

Anywho, on to Arrow!

Signing off,
Lily

Sorry about that folks, had some technical difficulties, aka, crazy work schedule, but it looks like things are going to slow down a little bit, maybe. But, other than that, things at work have been going pretty good for me. I helped Jenny get off of Mike's shit list, so it's official that she's not going anywhere ^_^!!! A few people were worried that she would be getting fired due to stupid politics, and that Tanner's good for nothing ass would get the store, (one even quit to go to a different Domino's because he didn't want to risk having to work under Tanner) but as of the other day her job as my manager is safe and sound ^_^.

On a sad note, 2 of my friends are getting fired, and I will be sad to see them go, but Jenny was nice enough to let them finish out the schedule she has already made up. I won't get into why they were fired, but what I will say is that I tried my hardest, like her, to work with them, and try to save their jobs, but it just didn't work, no matter what we did. I just hope losing this job doesn't put them in bad spots, I know what being without a job can do to someone. I've been there a few times myself, it's not fun.

I'm off today, and for the first bit of today Xan will be at work so I'll have some free time away from him. Honestly, lately, he's the biggest source of my stress, and it bugs me because there's no one I can talk to about it, besides you guys. I tried talking to Nojuan about it, but anytime I do it causes fights, and I'm just so done with the fighting I don't even talk anymore. I just keep it in. I know it's not good to keep things in like that, but I fair better when I keep it in, then when it all comes out, then causes a fight, because of the turn the fights take. I would just rather keep my mouth shut and wait for the time that I can get him out of my life.

I don't care if him and Nojuan keep in touch, or if he ever comes over to hang out, but I can't stand living with him anymore. Ever since he lied to me back in August, over his job at Zaxby's, I have not been able to trust him. I warned him this would happen, and he chose to not heed my warning. I just glanced back at my prior blogs and I never told you guys about that happening, so I'll give you a bit of a back story.

Back in August, when I had my accident, I had the rental car for a couple of days when I was out on a delivery and it was around the time Xan was due to get off of work. It was Sunday and he was due to get out at 2 so I called his Zaxby's to tell him to stay there and not get a ride from a co-worker since I was in the area and could swing by and take him home on my way back to the store. But when I called the store and asked if Xan had left yet, the worker on the phone told me she didn't understand why I was looking for him at the store since he had gotten fired on Friday. I asked her if we were talking about the same person, and she described him to me and sure enough, it is Xan.

She offered to tell me why he got fired, but I thought he would tell me himself, and if she did tell me she could have gotten fired, and I didn't want to do that to someone who was nice enough to tell me a truth my own room mate couldn't tell me. Apparently when he got fired, he had kept walking up there in his uniform and just hanging around, so that when Nojuan and I saw him leave, we wouldn't think anything of it because he was in uniform. I thanked her and headed back to work, finished up my day, and I got home before Xan did.

After I talked with Nojuan about what we had found out, we agreed to wait and see how long it would take him to tell us. Finally Wednesday rolled around, and I was kind of over it by this point, so when he got home I asked him, "Who was nice enough to give you a ride home?" And his response was "Just a cashier, and for the life of me I can't remember her name." Really? The guy who can name everyone in the store in one go suddenly can't remember a co-worker's name? That was the point that we told him we knew he didn't have a job and I asked him what did he get fired for?

He refused to tell me, saying that he had been going back up there and whatnot to try to get his job back, but he was going to get it handled so I needed to stay out of it. But I pointed out to him that the Xan we knew didn't get fired from places, he either quit if the place was crap, or stayed if it was good. After pointing that out, I also pointed out that after having been lied to for the last 5 days, I deserved to know why I would have to pay his part of the rent now, and his part of food, smokes, and anything else that came along until he could get another job. He started to refuse to tell me, and I warned him, right then and there, that I was starting to lose my trust in him after he lied to me for 5 days, and put us in a bad spot, and that if he didn't tell me I would have further problems trusting him in the future. And, if it reached a low enough level of trust I wouldn't want him living with us anymore because I CAN. NOT. live with someone I don't trust. I moved out of Florida to get away from that stress. And he didn't listen.

Several weeks down the road all he had finally told us was that it was a super busy day at work, he had been thrown up front, which he had no training for, since he was all kitchen, and he told the manager in charge that he would be able to work better if he was back in the kitchen. Supposedly the manager was a teenage brat who didn't like his command being questioned so he fired him at the end of the shift for "insubordination". Well, right after my accident I had applied for food stamps, and they needed proof that Xan had been fired so he had to go there and get a release form, which stated why was fired...

According to the managers, Xan had been fired for threatening behavior AND insubordination. Okay... So not only did he lie about having a job still for 5 days, he lied also about why he had been fired. So ever since then I just have not been able to trust him, because every now and then we won't have anything at all for food or rent, but somehow he has money for lunch at work. He's just lying more and I just can't live with him. So as soon as I can, I want to get rid of him, and again, I don't care if he and Nojuan keep in touch, not at all, but I don't want to live with him anymore because he went past the P.S.R. with my trust.

Wow, this is a longer blog than I had planned to type, but anyway, there's the update for you guys, and I'll try to post more soon!

Signing off,
Lily

Okay folks, before I get today's blog going, I wanted to let you know I'd be hopping into the chat to use it for it's intended purpose while I type up the blog ^_^. All you have to do to join in is click the link to the right that says Lily's Thicket, and voila! Hope to see you there!

Signing off (for now),
Lily

Is it lame that I'm writing this blog bit by bit - while playing Skyrim? ^_^ I'm honestly typing this up on my phone in between loading screens or long, drawn out dialogues lol.

Though right now Skyrim is hating me. I cleared out Pinebrook Cave of the vampires and originally fast-travelled to the Blue Palace. I did my business there, waited since it's after 1am Skyrim time, and when I went out into the town vampires have killed almost everyone and I'm like O.O!!!! WTF!?!? So I reloaded back to the Blue Palace fast travel and found the vampires, wiped them out, but apparently killed a guard in the process so I had to reload again....Then killed a guard again on accident and reloaded...Then accidentally killed a civilian in the melee <-_-> ugh...

So I'm about to reload again, hand Derkeethus all my stolen crap and in case I kill someone again I won't lose my good crap. It figures... The one time I actually take precaution no one dies.

Anyway, I do want to tell you guys about yesterday's chaos, but that is honestly a time for when I'm on Nojuan's laptop and have more freedom than a small QWERTY board. I just want to let you guys know for now that it was total chaos and I don't see why it had to happen. So there will be a blog at some point tomorrow, so keep an eye out for it ^_^.

Signing off,
Lily

So, you guys are in for a little bit of a treat today - three of them actually. I'm going to blog as I wait for pages to load and whatnot, and when they finish loading, I'll be putting the links ^_^.

First of all, treat number one is a vlog, my very first ever vlog actually, so let me know any tips you might have for future vlogs. ^_^

While I'm working on getting the second treat going, I just have to say I hate it when things don't work out the way you want them to, especially when you want it to go smoothly since you have everything in order? I've got everything edited and ready for what's coming, and Facebook just decided it hates my guts and is fighting me every step of the way. I will get this done though.

So I found out something, what was it I found out... Um, crap... I really wanted to share it with you too. Fuck.

Oh well, hold on a sec, lemme battle Facebook again real quick. Okay, Facebook is ready to go, and now I just need to find something real quick and the second treat will be ready for the link ^_^. I'm also multi-tasking and working on the third treat too. Okay, back on track.

Before I do continue, I just want to say sorry about blogging weird today, my mind is kind of in overload. I'm originally from FL, as I've mentioned before, so when I wake up for the day, and go to take Handsome Jack out for a walk, I'm not expecting to open my door and see nothing but white all over the place. That is what happened for me today. Got Jack all leashed up and opened the door to white all over, with the exception of cars and trees. I of course geeked out the instant I saw it all over the place. 

Okay, so I'm ready to put the second treat up for you guys! Because of today's white out I got inspired to take some shots and put together a winter photo album. Now, you guys have two options for checking out said album. You can either view it on my Facebook, or you can view it on my Photobucket. I made the Photobucket so that hopefully everyone can see, since I know some people can't access Facebook. If you can see Photobucket and you've never used it before, scroll down on the linked page until you see Albums, and then click it ^_^.

Now, what is the third treat you guys might be wondering? This blog ^_^. I was planning on just hopping on to post links to the items when they got set up, but I thought you guys decided a blog since I hadn't posted one in the past few days ^_^. 

I hope you guys like your treats, but now it's time for me to hop off of here and get some food in my stomach.

Signing off,

Lily

So, to explain to you lovely folks why I won't be hopping into the chat today, it's because tonight is a very special night. Tonight is Xan's game night. What does that mean exactly?

It means that at some point while I'm still at work, one of the guys in the group that Xan plays Pathfinder with comes to Kennesaw from Marietta to pick him up til around 3-4 AM (EST). Which means when I get home it's just me and Nojuan. It's really the one day out of the week we have some us hangout time. No offense to Xan if he ends up reading this, but it's the one time we can be watching something and he won't be laughing over it, or if we laugh we won't have to pause and explain what happened. That last one only gets old when it's stuff we've been watching, like a series, and he hasn't been watching it at all. Because then we have to go back and explain the deal with these two characters before we can explain what was so funny, and then listen to him ramble about it being "formula". Everything is a "formula" to him, and by now I'm so used to it in shows and movies that I don't care as long as they do it right and everything is still enjoyable. As I said, no offense to Xan if he ends up reading this, but it gets old buddy.

So, instead of staying late for training tonight I'm going to come home pretty much as soon as I get let go so we can get as much chill time as possible. I'll just stay late on a different day or try again at getting training in on my off day. Jenny couldn't help me log into the training site from home, and her boss never answered my text asking for help.

But anywho, I've decided to try to share more with you guys on the things I like, so below are a couple of videos. One is from jacksfilms and the other is from Tobuscus. And while I'm getting the links for the vids I might throw in something else. Those two are getting first notice because they posted new videos recently and they're totally worth plugging ^_^.

Jacksfilms - Your Grammar Sucks #65

Tobuscus - MY GIRLFRIEND WAS CAST IN THE LEGO MOVIE

The video above from Tobuscus is from 1 of his 3 channels, TobyTurner. Both him and jacksfilms are super talented, and honestly, even though there are currently 65 YGS videos out, and more to come every Friday if he keeps up the good work, you really need to go back and watch from the beginning. Nojuan and I caught it originally at #20, and from there we went back and just watched them all. And, every now and then jacksfilms will throw in the bloopers from the YGS videos, and those are just as laugh-inducing as the YGS videos themselves.

Tobuscus, on his TobyGames channel, has an awesome series of the game The Walking Dead, and you definitely need to check it out, and here's the video from the beginning of the series:

Now if those 2 aren't up your alley, you could try another set up YouTubers that I watch, and I can actually link you to a video that has both of them in one go!

Now I warn you... Shane Dawson, the one on the right, can be a bit...raunchy? Is that the word? I don't know, you watch the video and you decide. He's still pretty fucking funny and he doesn't hit that button on my humor side that tells me stuff is too dirty to be funny. Then again, we all have different thresholds. But, as I was saying, the jokes in the above video can be a bit inappropriate, especially if you're Helen Keller, but it is a good video all around ^_^.

I think that's going to be it for the YouTube plugs for now, but I hope you guys enjoy what I link you to, and if you have any suggestions on who I should also watch on YouTube, then feel free to contact me, info is to the right as always. Hope you all have a great day!

Signing off,

Lily

So, how has everyone's week been going? Aside from the opening fiascoes I told you about yesterday, mine has been going good to say the least. The only real issue I've been having  is the fact that for the last couple of days I've felt like crap. Yesterday was a migraine that refused to leave no matter what I did to it. I went into work looking like I was going to die, to the point where when Jenny was leaving she told Dylan not to keep me for longer than an hour unless we got busy.

As soon as it died down, I called Gary to head on over, and went into the office to work on something I had taken on, it's a secret ^_^. But at that point, while I was waiting for Gary, I had finally gotten my migraine to lower to just a headache, which I was grateful for. As I'm getting ready to get up to leave Dylan comes in and asks me to check out Carl, and as I'm watching him navigate to the checkout area of the computer, I hear this loud fucking bang behind me.

Carl has taken to scaring me lately, and when I don't feel like utter crap, with a massive headache that just spiked back into a migraine due to the loud noise and me being startled, I can tolerate him doing this. He's taken to doing this for fun, an honestly, with me suffering from PTSD after my car accident, I can't handle shit like this. Add onto that I don't feel good, and you get an eruption. I was willing to check Carl out so he could go home, even though I was off the clock, but after the fact that Dylan was obviously helping him by distracting me, even though he KNEW I was feeling like shit, I said fuck it and got up and left.

I'm getting real sick and tired of people at my jobs finding it funny to fucking scare me. "Let's scare Lily" may sound like fun, but I'm not going to be okay with it anymore. Usually I don't mind a joke here and there, but when it's every day I work with you, and it obviously bothers me but you keep doing it, I'm not going to tolerate it anymore. Especially when I caught him telling people how to scare me when he didn't think I was around. Both him and Dylan, and Kyle who was standing behind them, thought it was funny until they saw I was obviously not okay with this recent joke. It was funny the first few times, but now it's old and annoying. I'm going to have to let him know I'm done with it, and he needs to cut it out. I hate being mean, and controlling, but I'm starting to get paranoid anxiety attacks at work because I never know when he's going to scare me again.

With my PTSD I can't handle being startled or scared unexpectedly anymore. I know it was just a loud bang, but it really rattled my nerves, ontop of sending my migraine back into full swing.

I feel worse today unfortunately. Woke up with a stuffy nose and a dull headache, and the nose is clear now but my head's warning me that something bad is coming if I'm not lucky.

Did my taxes yesterday and almost cried at how little I was getting back. I couldn't even cover a month of rent at the hotel with my tax check. At least it's enough to where if I don't touch it, and just add to it as I can, then I might be able to afford a car soon.

Nojuan actually got back in touch with an old friend of his, who is offering us a place with him and it sounds absolutely amazing, and I would be able to use his car for work and whatnot until I get my own, but here's the bad part.... We live in Kennesaw... It's in Douglasville. If we took Cads up on his offer then I would be working in Acworth and living in Douglasville. For those of you not familiar with Georgia's geography, that's a round trip commute of almost 2 hours. And Domino's does not offer gas compensation. I would have to get a transfer out to a different Domino's if I wanted less of a commute. Problem with that: I don't know if Team Cowabunga has a Domino's out in Douglasville.

If I did move out there, and wanted to not have a 2 hour round trip commute, I would have to get a letter of release and start up at the new Domino's, and hope on a couple of things. 1) I would keep making when I am now, if not more, 2) I would be going into a store that has a great environment like my store, 3) I wouldn't be going into a store so different from mine that I would either get fired, or quit, within a short time.

If Cads lived closer, say no further out than Marietta (a 40 minute round trip commute), or Woodstock (also a 40 minute round trip commute), then I would jump on the offer. Rent would be $400/mo (USD) split between me, Xan, and Cads, and I would have a car I could use until I got mine with the money we would be saving. It just sucks that such a great opportunity doesn't exist closer, you know? That would really help us out =/.

Anyway, I'm going to see if I can log onto the training web-site from home so I can try to get training in, without the hassle of people bugging me every five seconds.

Signing off,
Lily

PS- I'm still in the chat, and I'll be there until Nojuan wakes up and kicks me off of his computer.

Okay folks, I'm up and about, headed into the chat now while everyone is still passed out. Come on in and chat! I'll also be getting today's blog ready while I'm in there ^_^.

Signing off (for now),
Lily

I'll be honest, today I'm not feeling all that great. My head hurts a little, and I feel sore all over. I know it's because I've been pushing myself a lot lately. Especially by not getting enough sleep before opening the store, and doing this 3 days in a row. I tried to gt what sleep I could, but my body just wouldn't cooperate with me on when I wanted to go to bed, compared to when it wanted to go to bed.

On Monday and Tuesday I had training classes come into the store, so I had to get all my prep done and everything before they arrived, and try to have the store presentable on top of that. But, when they're there, I have to look busy, and not just stand around. Except, without orders coming in, and all my work being done, I have nothing to do. So I do minimal chores like cleaning windows, the monitors on all of the computers, have drivers restock Coke coolers even though they're full... It's a hassle trying to stay busy with nothing to do.

Tuesday was a little harder than Monday and Wednesday, but that was because I also had a truck come in that, A) Needed to be put away and B) Was carrying things with it that I needed to finish my prep. But of course, it was a pretty small truck so it got obliterated in my quest to get things done quickly. Later that day was where the real fun began... Jenny was late getting in so I was running the first hour and a half of dinner rush on my own. I honestly was ready to quit after that because it was fucking ridiculous trying to handle all of that on my own with no help. No one does dinner rush on their own, it just doesn't happen, and I was having to.

Anyway, I'm hopping off of here to try to get my taxes done. And the chat is messing up so I gave up on it for the day. Sorry folks. Anyway, I'm off tomorrow so I might be going into the chat at some point ^_^.

Signing off,
Lily

Hey guys! Just letting you know I'm about to blog, but before I do, I started up the chat for a bit, so if you want to chat while I type up today's blog, feel free to either click the link to the right that says Lily's Thicket, or click here and it'll take you to the room. ^_^

Signing off (for now),
Lily

Hey everyone, tired as hell today. I barely got any sleep last night, and I opened this morning, so I'm just ready to crash. I'm not a morning person by any sense of the title, so I'm not fond of having the morning shift, but hey I can't complain, it gives me hours.

Good note: Finished last week off with some overtime on the next check.  And I got my raise officially, so that will be on the next check, with my overtime.

Headed home with Abby now, surprised I managed to get out almost on time, but that was because she was my ride home today.

So how's everyone's year going so far? Obviously mine's been touch and go but I'm hoping it turns out to be a good year ^_^. Well, we're almost to the hotel now so I gotta go, but I just wanted to give you guys an update. Take care!

Signing off,
Lily

I never did get the chance to get on here and tell you guys how my first day opening went. Honestly the only jam I ran into was the fact that the computers did NOT want to function for me. I went into that store with the main goal, aside from doing everything right, that I would not under any circumstances call Jenny or Dylan... But I didn't know how to get the computer system to work. Without the computer system I couldn't open and print out the morning prep work info so I HAD to call her and get it worked out.

No, I lie. That wasn't the only jam, I just remembered the other. Abby was my opening driver, and I usually like working with her, but we were super dead and I kept telling her to try to find something to do, but she wouldn't listen.

I know for a fact that Chastain was watching me on the cameras, because I could hear the camera beep every now and then. I told her that if she had nothing to do to get her tail off camera, or try harder to find something. Nope. I was cleaning the windows out of boredom and instead of grabbing the other bottle and washing the inside while I did the outside, or vise versa she chose to fuck with me through the window. On camera.

I get that she was bored and had nothing to do but that does not excuse it. It probably looked so bad to Chastain to see me not being able to control the employee under my clock, and I told her I wanted to make a good impression but she didn't want to listen.

But I closed last night into this morning so I'll post later about that fiasco. I'm finally able to crash.

Signing off,
Lily

Okay, so I'm slowly, but definitely, losing more and more of my nerves. Why? Because today is the day... The day that I, Lily, open the store. Not Dylan, not Jenny or Tanner, but me. I'm going to be the only one there from 9-10 until my opening driver, Abby, gets in, and this al has to go right.

I know for a fact that Chastain is going to be watching me on the cameras, to make sure I don't fuck shit up, and that's going to be nerve-wracking all on its own. But to make sure the store is right, and try not to call Jenny for help, is going to be a whole other obstacle. Yes, I did go in with her one day, and take notes on how to open, in the order of what needs to be done, but that doesn't mean everything will go off without a hitch. I'm fucking terrified I'm going to mess up something big, and my nerves are rattled. I thought a shower might do to calm me down, nope. All it did was get my fur wet.

I'm having a hard time typing this to be honest, because my hands want to go one way when I want them to go the other. I'm basically making a mess in my pants with how nervous I am, and I know everyone keeps saying I'll do fine, but I have one hour to get most of prep done before orders start coming in, and I have until the lunch rush hits to have everything done. I'm thinking about leaving a few minutes early just to be on the safe side and make sure I get everything.

I'm going out of my mind... Anyway, wish me luck folks, I'll try to post a blog on how it went when I get home. If not tonight, then tomorrow when I'm off work. I have a few things to do in the morning, but after that I might be able to yank someone's computer to give you guys a run through.

Signing off,
Lily

Okay, so I saw an article that really, really irritated me. You can read it --->here<---, but I'm still going to short hand it here.

Basically the guy took his car to the dealership for a warranty paint issue, an employee (when the dealership was closed) broke in and took the car for a joyride. During said joyride the car sheared off a telephone pole, causing the lovely little image below.



Now... The police are saying that because the car was in temporary legal possession of the dealership, the blame only falls on the dealership. Who, by the way, is refusing the payout for what the car was actually worth.

I'm sorry, but the business was closed, meaning it was breaking in to get the keys to the car, and then taking the car, that's FULLY the employee. It's considered theft on the employee's part because he BROKE IN to his place of business, STOLE the keys, and then obviously STOLE the car. Yes, he got fired, but he should have to pay towards the replacement, or payout, instead of all of the blame falling on the dealership.

Now, all of the blame shouldn't fall on him either. The dealership should have had a better alarm system. Some places have the kind of alarm system that if it's shut off before a certain time, the alarm company calls the cops and the owner just to be safe. That is the kind that all dealerships should have because there are people, like this guy, who obviously know how to turn off the system. If they don't have a system then that makes them totally liable, aside from the fact that the guy stole it.

For me it's kind of even. The business should have had better security, and the guy shouldn't have been stupid enough to steal the car. I think BOTH parties should be held at fault, and the guy should definitely be arrested for auto theft. It is theft because the company didn't know he was going to be there, didn't know he even took the car until the next day. So yes, he should be arrested, and both should have to pay. I don't see what is so hard about this to handle.

I don't know... Maybe it's because I'm getting jerked around by my old leasing company, but I'm having a really big irritation issue over this. Anyway, I'm leaving the chat now so I can get ready for work, but I'll talk to you lovely folks later.

Signing off,
Lily

Hey guys, just letting you know I'm hanging out in the chat for a little bit if anyone wanted to stop in!

Signing off,
Lily

Alright folks, I'm headed out to work now, so I'm leaving the chat. Thanks for tuning in today, and hopefully tomorrow I'll either be in the chat, or post a blog for you all. Take care!

Signing off,
Lily

Okay, so... Tuesday...  WTF was Tuesday? Tuesday was the day I damn near lost my head, that's for sure...

So before the schedule started, after it had been posted, Jenny let me know that I would be off both Monday and Tuesday, but I would still be sitting at 30 hours, even with the 2 days off. And I told her I was fine with that. Hell, 30 hours and 2 days off? Means that by the end of the week I'll probably have 4-5 extra hours without getting called in early. I usually end up staying on the clock for a little extra to help Dylan with the inventory log since I love numbers as much as I do.

So the day after she shows me the schedule she lets me know there's a manager's meeting on the Tuesday and she can't do it because she has a doctor's appointment with her son, Dylan can't go because he has his daughter on Tuesday's, which leaves Tanner... Who is supposed to open the store. The thing there is that he can't be at the store until 5 or 6 when the closing manager comes in, and they haven't gotten my drug test back yet so I can't legally open the store on my own yet. So Jenny and I work out that I'll come in at 12:30pm (EST), since the meeting isn't until 1pm (EST), to cover the store until Tanner gets back from the meeting. So there's the extra 4, maybe 5 hours I was thinking I would wind up with.

I get in there on time for Tanner to head out, and when I get in he's letting me know I still need to prep the 4 cheeses, butter/prep the pans for the pan pizzas, have Kyle or Brit do wings, cut the bread for sandwiches, and put up the Coke order whenever it comes in. No big deal. I'm a little miffed that he had 2 drivers and himself to put away the truck and do prep and still had prep left over when I got in. I know it can all be done way before 12:30 because of when Jenny had me come in to see what an open was like. But as I said, no big deal, nothing big is going on.

Honestly, all of that is something I can handle since the store is usually pretty slow from 12:30-4 with a pop or two here and there. So as I'm pulling on gloves, and Tanner is headed out there door, he hollers out, "Oh, by the way the training class will be here around 1:30, bye!" And there he goes...Leaving me with a couple hours of work, orders to take and make, and keeping the store clean and presentable.... In an hour...

Are you kidding me!? So I have an hour to do everything that would take about an hour and a half, without phone calls or internet orders, God knows how long when those come in, and hope to God the class isn't early?

So bless Kyle's heart, he took my orders with a grain of salt and helped me out because he could tell I was stressed all to Hell. I got 3 of the 4 cheeses prepped, saving the Parmesan shake for last since it's the most detail-oriented cheese to deal with, and that's when the orders start coming in. While I'm taking care of those Kyle and Brit have to hit the road, leaving me to take orders, make orders, and deal with any walk-ins that happen by. I haven't gotten to the pans yet, still need to have them cut the bread, Coke order is pulling up, wings haven't been done yet, and the Parm needs to be prepped.

1:00 hits by then and I'm freaking even harder because the pans and the Parm are both the most lengthy processes because for the pans I have to butter them all and then put the dough in them. For the Parm I have to weigh an entire bag out into mini bags of 4oz each for the parm shake container. Pizzas are in the oven, no orders on the screen, I cut the bread real quick, check in Coke as quick as I can, and have Kyle jump on filling the coolers when he gets back in from his run. While I get the pans ready I have Brit doing wings, because it's almost 1:30 and she needs to have those done an hour ago. God forbid she's doing those, or anyone's doing any prep when the training class gets in.

I honestly felt like:



Let me pause this to explain something about the class real quick; maybe help you get why it's so important to me to have everything perfect. Heading the class is the head of training, Charlie, who is in tight with the other upper heads. He's in charge of training all future and current managers, and all he has to do is tell Mike Chastain that I couldn't have the store ready for his class on my own, and that damages my reputation, which is not something I need right now. So, get why I'm panicking yet?

By the way, in the midst of all of this there was a phone audit on me. I later found out that I managed to ace it 100% even though I was stressed all to Hell, and worrying about my job maybe being on the line.

Okay, Coke is gone, Kyle is putting it up, Brit is almost done with the wings, bread is cut, 3 of the 4 cheeses are done, no pizzas are in the oven, or on the screen.... Pans and Parm. I can do this, right? That's what Kyle kept telling me to try to keep me calm, but I am having one hell of an anxiety attack which is laced with venom at Tanner since he knew the class was coming and dicked around doing Gods know what. It's not pretty, and Kyle calmly tells me to cool it or he's slowing down, which is the opposite of what I need, but the threat is what I needed to ease up off the pedal some.

He's also trying to tell me there might not be a class because now it's way past 1:30, and it's coming up on 2:30. At this point I'm fine with this because it means they're late. Late meas I'm not caught with my pants down, so fine, by late, or Hell, don't come at all. That's fine by me.

I knock out the pans, and as I'm doing the last tray of pans, the class arrives and starts filling up the parking lot. As I finish the last pan itself, in come the class. Okay, everyone's moving to the back and Charlie isn't here yet, but hey, it's the Parm shake. As I said before all I have to do is weigh it out into baggies and then date it and I'm done. I can just say I just found out there was none and that's why it's being prepped late. I'd rather him have that story then come in earlier and see what I all I had still had to have done when they were actually due in.

When Charlie gets there, everything goes off without a hitch. No problems at all. I didn't calm down until the class was actually gone because I kept worrying Charlie might find something wrong, or something might go wrong. Luckily for me very few orders came in while they were there, and I got everything done before hand. I kept out of their way, and busy with small things so I wasn't just standing around in front of an important class.

When they're gone, I look at my phone to see if Tanner had text me about being on his way back yet, since he was supposed to so I could give my ride a head's up, and there are 2 messages from Jenny.

The first one was her letting me know I had passed the phone audit since she gets results in her e-mail as soon as they post. To which I was like:



And then I saw the other one...The one that said I needed to have the store ready for the training class at 2:30... 2:30, not 1:30...


So.... I stressed for nothing? I would have been a Hell of a lot calmer if I had known I already HAD that extra hour to work with instead of waiting for the axe to fall when they showed up late, but before I could finish...
Fucking Tanner. I find the Noid very fitting for how I felt...

So yeah, Tuesday... I hate Tuesdays... I hate being improperly informed, and under-prepared. With his recent strings of slips and mess ups I'm wondering if maybe Dylan's right and we need to worry about him sabotaging us. If he ends up manager in Acworth, I'm going back to Kennesaw. Dylan would also jump ship, and if I'm left with Tanner, there is no way he's going to keep me on my path of advancement. He's one of those people that are obviously threatened by anyone better than him.

But anyway, I'm still chilling in the chat, so feel free to hop on in and say hey!

Signing off,
Lily

Before I do today's blog, I just wanted to let you guys have a head's up that I'm going to be in the chat room for a few hours before work. If you wanted to have a chance to drop in and say hi, I'll be in there ^_^!

Signing off (for now),
Lily

Just a little quick thing...

I had Nojuan hop on his laptop to test out the chat room with me, to make sure it was working, which I should have done first ^-^', and I had to walk him through logging in since he's a first time user like I was. It made me realize some of you may not have used TinyChat before, so here's what you need to do.

1) Click on Lily's Thicket (link to the right)
2) You can either log in with your FB, your TinyChat if you have one, or as a guest.
3) To log in as guest, just enter whatever user name you would like to display as.

And voila! You'll be chatting with me in no time! I am still in the chat for a little while, so if you'd like to pop in, feel free to!

Signing off,
Lily

Hey guys! I'm going to be in my chat for a bit so hop on in and let's chat! Xan is being nice enough to let me on his laptop while he plays a game on the XBox, so I have some time on here, though I don't know how long exactly. It'll be a couple hours at least, so you have plenty of time to possibly catch me ^_^.

To join the chat just click over to the right where it mentions Lily's Thicket, and it'll direct you to the chat. You don't need to have an account to join, just make up a guest name, or you the game name it gives you, so no pesky memberships!

Hope to catch you there!

Signing off,
Lily

So I had an idea a little bit ago and I've been working on setting things up, in case you guys like my idea.

I was thinking of setting up a chat room for us all to meet up in from time to time, since there are times when I get on-line and just totally forget to blog like I should. If I did set it up I would be posting times for when I KNEW I would be getting on-line and jumping into the chat. And of course there would be times when I didn't plan on jumping on, but still did anyway. I would post on Twitter or Facebook when that would be happening, so you didn't miss out on me being in there.

The only reason I was thinking of doing the chat room is because there are so many of you who are tuning in to read my blog, I was thinking of getting a little more of a personal note with you lovely folks. I would be more than happy to just chat with you guys about anything, or answer any questions you might have. If I do set it up all the way, I'll post the link to it for you guys to be able to jump in and maybe catch me on an unexpected time, or during a planned time.

In other news, I've told you all before I'm a fan of some YouTubers, and one of them, Tobuscus, has recently posted a new parody song, that I'm in love with. I'm not a fan of Ylvis, but Toby's parody of What Does The Fox Say? is absolutely awesome, therefore I'm going to plug it right now.

vid link

You NEED to go check it out and enjoy it yourself... Or I'll open my jaws and nom on your head for a bit like a giant, squishy chew toy ^_^. Kay?

Anywho, it's my turn to walk Jack before we head off to bed, so hopefully I'll talk to you guys later!

Signing off,
Lily

So I'm just sitting outside, listening to some Jazz while I wait for Nojuan to walk Jack. Got some stuff on my mind tonight involving our living situation... And the roommate situation...

Xan is Nojuan's friend, same as I am, but there is a big difference between Xan and I.

Nojuan has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder for those of you who might confuse it with BiPolar Disorder) and for a while we would get into some pretty wicked fights and we wouldn't understand, "Where the hell did this even come from?" So we went to the library together back in 2011 and we found a book written for people with BPD, and for those who love them and either just have them as friends, or as loved ones. We both read it so I could understand him and he could have a better understanding of his disorder. Since then we do still fight, but nowhere near as bad as we used to.

Because of that book, and various web-sites, I've learned his triggers, or other things that cause one of his "fits". And knowing these, I avoid them as best as I can, or calm him down during a "fit".

Xan knows Nojuan has BPD and he can't always control his emotions, or reactions, and yet he won't research it. Living with someone, or even knowing a friend in a non-communal situation, that has BPD is a two way road. BOTH parties have to figure out how to work together and Xan refuses. It has caused fights that rival our old fights when it was just Nojuan and myself, and Xan hates fighting but won't do his part. I just don't know what to do...

I want to do what's best for us, but not mess up friendships, you know? I don't know...

Signing off,
Lily

I just have to say something before I finally go to bed. It's 5:05a (EST) right now and I hate my buddie insomnia. Insomnia for me is like the boyfriend that you can't find a way to break up with, no matter how many ways you try to discreetly, or boldy, end the relationship. So yeah, it's 5 in the morning right now and while I wait for Nojuan to walk Handsome Jack, I decided to check my stats on Blogger.

For those of you who don't know, that's my blog's server.

Anywho, so I'm at 1,100 views and I just wanted to do a quick blog to say... Thank you. Thank you to the countries tuning in to see what I've posted each time ^_^. I appreciate all of you and I might put up a treat for you soon.

Signing off,
Lily

You know, I can't help but get just a smidge frustrated with Dylan from work. I love the guy, I really do, but all day long him, and whoever is on the makeline with me, tend to play Houdini on me. Most of the time it leaves me with a screen of orders and no help, but there are times when they leave because I have another person. That is fine. So why does it frustrate me more?

Had the usual happen today, where I kept getting ditched, and no matter how much I holler for help, it takes someone going to Dylan to get help. I know he can hear me so this is just rude, because he's doing it to talk with people. There was a group standing there just talking, and no help is coming my way. I fight through it until around 9:10 (EST) when I clock out and go in back to continue my computer training.

The WHOLE time, almost as soon as I sit down he calls for help. So I have to keep randomly clocking back in. My ride shows up at 10:40 so after barely getting any training done, I call it a night and pack up to leave. Im almost out the door and he begs me for help.

What the Hell did he do before I came to the store, besideds be fucked? Again, I love the hell out of Dylan, but I'm not going to have help when I start closing, he needs to wean himself off of me. I would do it but I feel bad turning people down for help because I fully believe in Karma.

Anyway, I just needed to get that out. Thanks for tuning in!

Signing off,
Lily