Two days of posting, one right after the other? What did you guys do to get this? ^_^

I totally threw out my left shoulder, with no idea as to how or why it happened. The sucky part of it is that I threw it out in such a way I can't really breathe right without pain, and when laying down, I can ONLY lay on my right side to make sure no pressure is on the left. I can't even lay on my back because some muscle revolts against it, causing more pain that if I had just caved and laid on my left side.

I'm sitting up to type and all I feel is this steady pressure on my left side, reminding me of what's waiting if I twist or shift wrong. Because it just happened yesterday I have no idea yet as to what all my limits are, because nothing stays the same unless laying down. Certain sitting or standing positions hurt, it's just a clusterbuff of pain.

So, onto a lighter note, who all is caught up with Doctor Who, all the way up to the 2013 Christmas Special? I lucky am! You know, if it hadn't been for living with Sev, I never would have really gotten into Doctor Who. It didn't sound like it was something I would have liked, but him always watching it around me gave me a chance to see it, and it's history from there ^_^,

Anyway, time for me to head off, I have stuff I have to get done before work.

Signing off,
Lily

I'm a bit irritated today. Over the last few days, at random intervals, my phone has been telling me this lovely little message: "SD card blank or has unsupported filesystem." IT'S THE SAME CARD THAT CAME WITH THE PHONE!

So I called Straightalk, who I'm usually on good terms with and they're telling me I need to format the card, and if that doesn't work I have to get a new card. Obviously. But here's the problem with that. The Wal*Mart near me doesn't carry the micro SD card that fits my phone. So I ask them if Straighttalk sells micro SD cards, since they obviously sell smartphones, and the answer is no.

So now that I've lost everything that had been on my card, I have to wait until Wednesday to order a new one, wait for it to come in, and HOPE it works. Because if it's just the phone being a pain, I'm kind of screwed because I have no way of affording another new phone again.

This is where I get super frustrated. I had a basic phone the last 4 happy years, and when it finally breaks to the point of me having to get a new phone, the cheapest phone with a QWERTY board is a smartphone at 49 (USD). The cheapest basic phone with a QWERTY board was 119 (USD) or so.

Because of the money situtation I had to get a new phone I had to go for a smartphone. I was content on never having a smartphone and then I had to select one, because as a driver at the time I couldn't go without a phone, and now I regret it. It's erased contacts at random points, now it's having me spend money to use it at full functionability because it blew an SD card apparently.

As soon as I can I'm saving up for a basic phone. Screw this smartphone crap. It's not worth it. Smartphones are obviously for people who can afford upkeep on a phone, and I can barely afford my home and bills.

Signing off,
Lily

Technically speaking I shouldn't be blogging right now, seeing as I'm at work, but hey I'm off the clock for an hour or so. Why? Well, this kind of started last night.

Jenny came to me, to talk to me about my hours next week, in regards to Christmas Eve, which I had volunteered to work. She was going to have me open the store, which I have yet to do, but Mike, her boss, said no for two reasons:

1) I haven't had my drug test yet so I'm not officially a shift runner yet, therefore I can't run the store because my numbers don't matter worth anything to the system. I can't do half the shit I need to be able to do.

2) I haven't opened the store yet so as far as he's concerned I don't know what to do.

Okay... I haven't had my drug test yet because MIKE hasn't scheduled it yet, like he was supposed to almost two weeks ago. I'm trying to have him schedule it on one of my days off so I don't have to pay for a trip to Acworth, then one to Marietta, then one more to work that same day. That's $15 for one day when I could spend only $5 if he would have it scheduled for me. Then the only trip I would have to make is to Mariettta. Jenny and I have both been on his ass to get it done and he has yet to. He only has himself to blame.

And it's true, I don't know how to go through and open the store as a manager, only as a driver or insider doing prep for the day. I am learning how to from the computer training I mentioned recently, but I also learn better by doing. So, back to last night...

Jenny is telling me all of this because she wanted me to open, and Tanner to close, because she has her whole family coming to town for a giant get together on Christmas Day. Naturally she wants the full day off, and I don't blame her. Here's why she's mad though. Mike won't let me open, Dylan has the day off, and Mike is trying to send Tanner to another store so that manager can have the day off. So no Tanner, no Dylan, and I can't officially open or close, means Jenny would have to pull an open to close while another manager at another store gets special treatment. I'd be pissed too.

So, how did all of this lead to me mentioning being off the clock? I got really upset for Jenny so, instead of staying late last night to get more computer training in, I went home and went to bed as early as I could so she could bring me in with her to open the store and get that hands on training in. So now I know how to open... Still need the drug test.

I was already scheduled to work today from 4 to almost 9 so Jenny's letting me get a good sized break in before clocking back in. And I downloaded the Blogger app so I'm giving you guys this little blog via the app.

I am going to hop off of here and get more computer training in though.

Signing off,
Lily

So, as promised, I'm going to start trying to blog more, and this morning is a good chance to since I woke up well before Nojuan, and I'm able to highjack his computer.

Yesterday...was a very dangerous day... (Props if you know that cartoon phrase. If not, it's from a cartoon that was on when I was a kid, called Rocko's Modern Life. Saw a couple of episodes recently and all I can say is, "My mom let me watch that!?") Apparently I had a warrant out for my arrest and didn't even know it.

You see, back in August when I had my accident I was given a ticket for following too closely even though I hit someone after having a 15 foot slide due to everything locking up on me. I was originally given 60 days to pay it, but after Tyler had cut my hours so damn bad, by the time it was time to pay it, I could never save up the cash for it, so I had to get one 30 day extension. That was on 11-19. Now if you count 30 calendar days from 11-19, it happens to fall again on 12-19. So, with yesterday being 12-18, I think I'm paying my ticket a day early. It's only going to be $123 (USD) right? Nope.

Apparently, what the clerk didn't tell me when I went in to get my extension, was that it was due on the court date closest to being before the actual due date, which in my case was the 17th. The day before yesterday. So, the clerk tells me she needs to call an officer to arrest me since I had a warrant out, due to not showing up to court when I was supposed to and I'm standing there, panicking, on the verge of a major melt down. Thankfully she lets me know that I can pay the $70 fine for not appearing if I want to be able to not go to jail, but of course that $70 was going to go to our storage unit.

Which now means we can't even have our little Christmas tree to pretend it's Christmas with everything going wrong like it is. That was the one thing Nojuan wanted for Christmas, was to have our tree up, and we can't even do that. It makes me feel so down, and there's nothing I can do to fix it.

So I decided to take one the anti-anxiety pills mom sent me, and battled through the nausea/dizziness it causes to finally get to feel numb. I go to work, numb, and all day Dylan, as much of a sweetheart that he is, was trying to make me feel something. Well he eventually did, by having a diabetic crash, leaving me to a full screen that kept growing, and co workers who would rather talk than work. Of course after being depressed by Christmas being stolen by the government, the first emotion I do feel is absolute anger and irritation that never ends for the rest of the night. That lovely little pill was holding everything back and he had to go and shake it off of me.

And, to top things off, take a look at this crap. ----->here<-----. In case you're wondering what you're looking at, my mom, in Ormond Beach, FL, sent me a Christmas package, to KENNESAW, GA and somehow it wound up in NJ. How the Hell do you mix up Kennesaw, GA with PINE BROOK, NJ?

I'm just not meant to have a good Christmas this year, that's all there is to it. It's so stupid that the postal service can't even do their job right. There's not even an address like mine anywhere in NJ so there's no excuse for this. It had the address written on it in 3 different places as a precaution my mom took. She even paid for 2 day shipping and it got there on the 4th day so they couldn't even do that right.

I know, today isn't a good blog, but one good thing happened yesterday. I finally got my manager shirt in, so now it's obvious I'm one of the ones in charge to anyone in the store ^_^.

I'm going to hop off of here so I can deal with USPS on the phone. Someone needs to light a fire under their asses.

Signing off,
Lily

So I know it's been a bit, but there is a good reason. Ever since I came to the Baker Road Domino's things have been going up and up for me, as I've mentioned before in a prior post. I mentioned Dylan (ha, was totally spelling his name wrong) had told me I had increased by at least 4000 times. Well, it gets bette! ^_^

So, in this whole, me getting better trip, it's gotten so good for me that I'm actually being put on the fast track for assistant manager. I still have to temporarily be a shift runner, the spot below being an AM, so that on the papers it can show I did all the right steps,and that's perfectly fine for me. It means I get to actually get trained on things I need to know, which as it turns out, I didn't know half the shit I thought I did.

My shift runner training has been going on for about a month and a half now, and with me going to AM when I'm done, Jenny had me go to the manager's quality meeting with Dylan, so that I can learn more. At that meeting, I was so surprised that I didn't know half the things I should. But when I got hired by Mitch, I was strictly a driver, and then when Tyler came in and wanted to cross train, he didn't tell anyone jack, he just showed us how to make pizzas. Even when he told me he was going to make me his assistant manager after Kyle left, he didn't teach me things I needed to know. I honestly think he was setting me up to fail miserably, especially after learning all that I have just in this past two weeks alone.

So just this last week I've either been going in early or staying late, off the clock, so that I can study the learning material, so that wen it's time, I know what to do. But before that, pretty much since around the time of my second to last blog, I've been getting called in early, or asked to stay late, so I could help out since I've become someone they rely on when things get hectic in there, which means I pretty much wake up, barely get through lunch when I get called in, stay there until almost 11, and then go home to have dinner and pass out and start again. Hence, no blogging.

But, I am going to try to get back in touch with you guys because I feel bad for letting this blog go for so long. I just literally could not find the time to get on Nojuan's computer to give you guys an update. As an early Christmas present though, I do have something for you guys on my Facebook, which the link to it is on the side of this page to the right of the blog. It's in an album called Change of Season. I wanted to give you guys an idea of what I get to see everyday, but for those of you who have winter in what is my summer, and summer in what is my winter, this is also a chance for you to see what it looks like in Georgia, US, from November to December.

I hope you guys enjoy it!

Also, before I head off to get ready for work, I wanted to say a quick shout out to Malaysia that joined in on my views. Thank you very much for tuning in, and I'm sorry it was during a small down time. Thank you to all my viewers who come on here and read up.

Signing off,
Lily

This is a quick little blog, but if you watch Doctor Who, and haven't seen all the way through the 50th Anniversary Edition, then don't read, this blog is all about the episode. It contains spoilers from Hell, especially if you've only seen a little bit of Doctor Who. More so if you haven't even gotten to The Master yet. Don't read further.

So, based on the 50th Special, does this mean that The Doctor created The Master? Are you confused about what I mean? Well, I'll be more than happy to explain, because I connected the dots as soon as I saw them.

1) In this special all 13 Doctor's show up to save Gallifrey in a single point in time, so that the billions that existed on the planet didn't have to die. So he didn't have to live with what he felt were the sins he had carried out by destroying them in the last great Time War. Now, Gallifrey is safe from eternal destruction.

2) REWIND back to the episode with Tennant as the 10th Doctor, The End of Time, Part 2, when the Time Lords of Gallifrey were trying to return, from the POINT IN TIME they were secluded to. So in their planning, they sent the drums, which are actually the sound of a Time Lord's heartbeat, back through the Time Vortex when the Master was looking into it and heard the drums for the first time.

3) Time Lord implant drums as a beacon that would help them find a way out of the point in time they were secluded in. Fast forward to The 13 Doctors moving Gallifrey to save it. So in putting them there, The Doctor created The Master by proxy.

Think on that gem.

Signing off,
Lily

Sorry it's been a while, and I know I've been saying that a lot lately, but there is just so much stuff going on. But, before I start, here's a little plug for Nylabone since they're awesome.

They finally sent Handsome Jack his new toy ^_^! He loves it so much, he fell asleep with it in his muzzle yesterday. He's worn away at it some, but so far it's nowhere near as bad as the last toy. Hopefully this one will last a little bit longer.

So, going past that, one more plug and I swear to continue.

Please please please go here and vote for me so that I can hopefully get a car. I'm still looking for one otherwise, and when you read on you'll get a good look at how that's been going.

So on Thursday, Gary, the guy I had been getting rides from, took me to the storage unit so I could pay on it and keep our stuff, and on the way there I saw a car sitting on the side of the road that was for sale, only $650 (USD). I thought, if I can talk the guy own to $500 then I'll only have to pay back the $400 Kyle said he would loan me, instead of having to pay back him and finish off payments with whoever  I could get a car with. So on the way back from paying the unit, I had Gary pull over for me.

Bonus, it's a Camry! An older Camry, '89, but a Camry, and they're one of my favorite cars, and I know they're reliable, so I'm off to a good start here. Guy comes out when he sees me looking at the car, and this is where he dumps a bucket of crap on my parade.

- It has no Reverse
- The engine clicks horribly when you start it up
- And just from touching the hood to let it down gently, I got a wicked oil slick on my hand.

So obviously this car is going to cost me more to get it running right than what I have. It sucks. I know a car is as good as you treat it, but after I get it I would have had to put thousands into it very soon after. And as we all know I don't have thousands. Hell, I barely have $5 bucks to my name. And I would still have to look at tag/title/insurance right off the bat and I can't do that yet so I had to let the car go.

I still have to pay my ticket from my accident that I haven't been able to save up for because of rent and food. Xan's dressing up as a computer mascot and is at least getting paid daily to help with rent until he can get a job somewhere. But supposedly, according to him, he might be getting hired on there as a regular, and he can keep doing the mascot thing until we're good on it.

Some good news though, Dylan, turns out I've been spelling his name wrong, is talking me up to Jenny to see if he can get me moved ahead. He's even started training me on the inventory, which is one of my best subjects in a work place. And I've been slowly getting in more hours here and there. To give you an idea I'm scheduled for 26 hours next week, and this week I was able to get in 20, if I don't get anymore extras, aside from the extra 1.5 hrs I got called in early for today that I have to get ready for soon.

Dylan is also talking me up to Mike, which is even better since Mike himself was actually giving me props the other day. I swear, the minute I get a car I'm getting back on the road, I don't care if I have to double-task at the store as an insider and driver. I miss the road so bad.

Anyway, I just wanted to give you guys an update in regards to how things have been going. I have to hop off of here so I can get ready to head out to the Baker Road store.

Signing off,
Lily

Hey guys, sorry it's been a few days, wifi went down again.

Anyway, just a reminder, I really need you guys to ----->go here<----- and put in your vote for me to work on possibly getting a free car. You can put in as many votes as you want, just one vote per day, and I need as many as I can get.

Thanks a bunch guys. I'm off to go apply at more places.

Signing off,
Lily

Hey guys, I found a way you can help me out, in the most fantastic way. So, Nojuan's computer is messed up so I'm on Xan's right now so I can write this. I don't know how often he'll be able to let me on here to give you guys updates until Nojuan's laptop is fixed, or I get my laptop back out of pawn, so this might be the last blog for a few days/weeks/who knows.

But if you could please go --->here<--- and click on the VOTE FOR ME link, I would greatly appreciate it.

On that page you'll see what I need your help with. You don't have to give money or anything like that, just give me your votes to help me. What are you helping with? You're helping me win a lottery of sorts, where they give the winners a free car and only people in need are allowed to apply for this lottery. Now the more votes I have in, the more likely of a chance I stand at getting a car, and subsequently, getting back on my feet and out of the hole I'm in.

If I could get a car then everything would be okay again since I wouldn't be transportation-challenged anymore. So please, please, please folks, go to the link ---->here it is again<---- and click the VOTE FOR ME button on the right side of the info screen. Thank you very much for your help guys. Any help you did give is highly appreciated.

Signing off,
Lily

While Nojuan is in the shower, I'm going to take this chance to give you guys an update as to what all's going on.

So, I got my store transfer. I'm now at the Baker Road store officially, and I'm really glad it happened because I'm happy again. I look forward to work again, and it's not threatened by worry that Tyler will be there, or that he'll show up. No more Tyler.

The best part about it? My improvements have actually been noticed by the people at the new store in such a way I'm getting props all over the place. If anything does come up it's a simple fix and I'm not treated like a piece of dirt over a small thing. The store manager, Jenny, she's such a sweetheart and she's super happy I'm there. So is Dillon, the assistant manager. Hell, even the other staff members are happy to have me there, so it's nice to be at a place I'm so welcome at.

To give you an idea, to finally put into perspective, exactly how bad it was at my store, and for how long it had been going on, I'm going to tell you about something that happened today. Dillon and I were busting our tails on the make line and while we're working he's telling me about how him and Jenny had been talking about me earlier today. He was telling me the different things, and he got to where he said, "I mean, from the first day you got here, your speed, your performance, has increased at least 4000 times," and I had to stop him. Because after how much I had been put down by my boss, the person who controlled my job basically, to hear this come from someone whose opinion matters in regards to my job stability, it was too much. I played it off in a playful way that he needed to stop or I was going to cry, but I meant it.

If he had kept going on, with anything else, I would honestly have cried because it was something I desperately needed to hear. That Tyler wasn't right, that I wasn't imagining my progress. From someone in a management position who needed to see it for the sake of my job. To hear it, was just too much for my abused morale. My work spirit has been so beaten down by the constant barrage of abuse by Tyler and his words/actions against my work, that to hear I was right about my improvements was such an elation I couldn't handle it.

When it died back down I had to go hide in the bathroom long enough to get myself back together from the pieces Dillon had almost crumbled me into without knowing it. I don't fully let my emotions show at work, when it's negative things, so they have no idea just how bad my emotional state has been over all this abuse. And I would rather keep it that way to be honest. I don't like having my emotions be out of control at work, it looks bad, it's not professional...

Anyway, going past that... Olive Garden ended up not happening because my friend was supposed to give me a ride, even said he would the prior night, then 15 minutes before we're supposed to leave for said interview, he backs out. He said he wasn't giving rides to anyone anymore since it was interfering with his personal life. Why the Hell he couldn't tell me that the night before instead of saying yes I have no idea. I could have found someone else. Or even if he had told me that day, way in advance of the interview so that I could have had longer than 15 minutes to find someone who could have given me a ride.

So I still have no second job, which I do still need until jenny can give me more hours, she has me working 4 days this upcoming schedule at least, but until she can give me more hours I need everything I can get. I don't know what my checks are going to be like, or whether they'll be enough for rent...

I don't even know what we're going to do about Monday and Tuesday. If I could make it until Wednesday then we would be fine because that's when I get paid, but I don't know where we're going to come up with the $60 (USD) to make it those two days. We're good for tomorrow's room rate, but after that, we're screwed unless $60 falls out of the sky. Like that would happen...

Anyway, so I had to pawn my laptop to get us until Sunday, so I don't know when I'll be able to give you guys another update. I still use my Facebook and Twitter, which are to the right on this screen, and I can access those from my phone, but not the blogger system. So keep an eye out there for little snippets until the next time I can hop on Nojuan's computer. I think I just heard the shower cut off so I'm hopping off of here so he can get back to what he was doing when he comes out.

Signing off,
Lily

Okay, so I'm getting just a little sick and tired of King le Douche, aka Tyler... Tonight I was at the Baker Road Domino's and the fox, Dillon, asked me if I knew anyone who could close tomorrow night, as a shift leader. I told him I needed to call my store since I know Catherine sometimes needs extra hours. When I called, I asked Collin to go ahead and give me my hours for next week, so I knew what kind of note to leave Jenny, the manager at the Baker Road store, about possibly subbing there again next week.

I don't have any. Tyler doesn't even have me on the schedule for one day, not even one hour. I sent him a text and asked him why, but he hasn't replied to me yet. But after I sent him that text, I did text Mike, his boss, to see if he could help me get hours at any store this week. Him and I talked for a bit in regards to what I work the rest of this week, and when he thinks I might be able to get in at other stores.

Domino's drama aside, I had my 2nd interview at the Olive Garden over in the Town Centre area of Barrett. It went REALLY good ^_^. I'm very positive over how the interview went, because the guy I spoke to today, told me to call him back on Monday, to get a time for an interview on Tuesday with the lady that actually does the hiring. That will be the final interview to decide whether or not I get the job. I really hope I do get it because I can't keep struggling like this with Domino's.

I'm not the type of person to quit a job, I stay there until they fire me, but I'm on the verge of quitting there. I'm seriously thinking about just getting settled in at Olive Garden, make sure it's going to work out, and then when I get settled in there, put in my 2 weeks at Domino's.

Then again, if I do get the car that I'm going to be looking at tomorrow, then at least I can see about getting transferred to a different Domino's. I LOVE working at the Baker Road store, because the people there are so friendly, and even when things get busy, they've all learned how to work together as a team, in a way I haven't seen since I worked with Saul, an old Raccoon, at 7-Eleven. They don't need to communicate with each other. They've all become so in-tuned with one another that they just have to look at each other, and they know what to do. That kind of team work is absolutely awesome, and if I do end up staying with Domino's then you know what? I DO want a transfer to that store. I want to be a part of THAT team.

Anyway, I need to hop off of here. I'm going to apply at a few more places in case Olive Garden doesn't work out.

Signing off,
Lily

Okay, so far things are looking up a little. I had an interview at Olive Garden recently and the interviewing manager told me to call the hiring manager today if I hadn't heard from him yet. I called the hiring manager and I have one more interview, tomorrow at 2, and that will be the one that decides whether or not I get hired. Wish me luck.

Also, back in the last post from me I mentioned Kyle was willing to help me with getting a car as long as he can look at it first. I kind of have one in mind, but it's a Pontiac... The same make/model my gram has, that has given her nothing but trouble since day one of owning it. I owned a pontiac once, and in the span of the 2 years I suffered through it, I needed a radiator twice and a new trans by the end of it, so I'm not even sure I want to touch another Pontiac after that. However, if I can get it for now, and just hold on to it until I can save up for a better car, I can use it as part of a down payment, maybe a trade-in, so technically speaking it could benefit me in the end.

I'm having the guy who owns it bring it by tomorrow, as well as having Kyle come over tomorrow to take a look at it and see if it's worth the $700(USD) investment it's going to wind up being. Kyle said he'd help with 3-400, and the guy is willing to finish it out in payments, so something can be worked out in general. Wish me luck there too please. Right now I need all the luck I can get.

Anyway, I really don't have anything else to talk about today, I've only somewhat recently woke up and everyone is still passed out. Apparently they didn't go to bed until super late again, and I've got to walk the dog when I finish typing this up.

Oh, before I go, I'd like to open up an option to you guys. If there is anything you would like to ask me, feel free to click one of my contact buttons and ask. From today 10-10 until 10-16, I'll be gathering questions that you guys send me and I'll be answering them here on 10-18. Why not 10-17? I don't do anything on that day. Ever. I request the day off of work, I would stay out of school, I don't even go anywhere. Is stay holed up at home and be extra careful of what I eat/drink. Something bad happens on that day every single year, and has since I was 8. Every. Single. Year.

Signing off,
Lily

Today was ridiculous. God I hurt. I'm in so much pain it kills me to even lay down. I had my adrenaline going all day so I didn't even notice how much I was pushing myself until I got home and it was no longer pulsing through my veins. Now I wish I could just crawl under a rock for a little while. Maybe the pressure covering me would make me forget the pain for a little while...

So... Friday I told Tyler I needed to make sure I had the 12th off since I have jury duty, and he told me I'm only working Saturday and Sunday... Wait...What? So I asked him, why did I only have 2 days the entire week? Keep in mind folks, back on the 28th I mentioned to you guys that my boss was going to give me the assistant manager position when Kyle leaves, as of today as a matter of fact....

"Well, I'm bringing in a new guy, to do fill the assistant manager position." But... But I told him I wanted to accept his offer of me filling that spot. He knew I was going for it when Kyle was gone because HE OFFERED IT TO ME! When I told him, "Wait, I'm confused, I thought we agreed I was going to have that spot," you know what his response was? "Well, I don't have to train him. He's already an assistant manager at another store."

Rewind back to August... He had a store meeting, where he told us all he wanted to promote people from within the store, "So I don't have to hire people that are going to take away from everyone's hours. I want to train someone who's familiar with this store and the way it goes instead of bringing someone who's never seen the store."

"Well I don't have to train him.".... "I don't have to train him." "I want to train someone who's familiar with this store." HOW THE HELL DO THOSE TWO EVEN MATCH UP!? So not only did he lie to me just last week, he lied to everyone back in August.

I HATE liars. When we know each other, and you lie to me, especially about something as big as this, it shows me I can't trust you. I ended up talking to his manager, Mike, about what had happened because I needed to find out from him if he knew of any stores in our area that needed anybody on the inside sometime this week coming up so I can make some money somewhere. I already talked to the manager at the Baker Road store myself since I've been a driver at that store when they needed me before, and she managed to get me 2 days, but I still need one or two more days to even make anything count.

So now I work Wednesday, then Friday-Sunday total, which leaves me Monday, Tuesday and Thursday to work with at another store.  Mike actually cares about his employees so he told me he was going to try to get me in at the Canton Road store, and he's got the manager set up to give me a call either today or tomorrow to discuss the schedule together and see what we can come up with. Hopefully something comes from this, I can't keep stressing like this.

But at least I might be getting another car sometime soon, depends on how things work out to be honest. Kyle, the one whose spot I had been promised said he can help me out with getting one if I can pay him back bit by bit until Christmas. Which, if I get another car, I can get back on the road, and I can save up the money for him in no time. Plus if Tyler tries to fuck me over any further, Mike already told me he would make sure I was taken care of since he knows I'm a good worker, that I'm just going through a hard time right now...

Anyway, I'm going to try to go to bed, see if I can escape this pain for a bit. Thanks for listening to me.

Signing off,
Lily

*****Warning, this blog contains some pretty dark views and rantings, so if you're not in the mood to read downer stuff, tune in next time. Hopefully it'll be better then.*****

I just don't know what to do anymore... I really don't. I'm losing what little will I have left, and it's going fast. It's like my dam broke and everything is over-flowing too fast for me to fix it in any way.

1) I didn't get Walgreens because the detox I usually do failed me this time, so the shot I had at a second job is fucked. So I need to hit the streets again to look for a different job possibility, while trying to explain to Domino's why I didn't start up at Walgreens. - On that note, I don't think I'll be hanging out with Mary for a while.

2) I still have no car, so job hunting/interviews are a bitch right now, almost damn near impossible. Somehow on my pathetic paycheck, until Xan gets a job, I have to find money for food (we're out), rent (we're almost homeless), and save up for a car... I'm stretched so far right now, and there are no day labor places around me to where I can make some fast money. All my secret shop places don't have anything in my area that I can even get to, there's just so much...

3) Going back to #1, the only reason I smoke is for my back pain. Every single day of my life, I am in pain, in one way or another due to problems with my back, that cause shock waves into my hips and legs. I have an ulcer so I can't take the amount of pills I need to even touch the pain in my back. Honestly the way I see it is this. I can either smoke something that causes momentary loopyness, maybe hunger, maybe drowsiness, and then it's gone later. Or I can take pills that come with worse side-effects, including messing with my ulcer.

I need to live in somewhere like CO where it wouldn't matter anymore, so I could be pain free without turning into a pill head or worrying about Johnny Law knocking on my door. This whole anti-weed thing going on in USA is stupid. It really is. I never smoke before work, only after, I don't even risk smoking until after I'm sure I won't be called in, or if it's too late and works calls after I started, guess what? I can't get a ride, or I had a drink, I can't come in. The only irresponsible thing I do is the fact that I smoke weed. That's it. And it's caused me to not get a second job, which I desperately need, all because there are people who don't take the precautions I do.

4) Xan still does not have a job. He has possibilities, but that's about it. I need more results than that, especially if I'm going to let him keep staying here. I do need him around for a second check when he does get a job, but he needs to get it first to be useful. Right now, he's just using resources we really can't spare...

That's pretty much it... As I said earlier, sorry this was a downer blog, I'm just feeling the weight of everything coming down. To be honest I haven't eaten in 24 hours and with how stressed and depressed I am, I'm not even hungry...

Signing off,
Lily

I know, it's been a while since my last blog, and I apologize, but a lot has been going on lately. So, here we go...

1) Basically when I got my insurance with Nationwide, even thoguh I told them I was a delivery driver they didn't put it in there and so because of that it's looking like I "withheld" information from them so they cancelled my policy and I have no car. So now I can't deliver pizzas and Tyler can barely give me any hours as an insider so it's getting pretty tight, pretty fucking fast. Forgive the language, but it's stressing me out.

2) I had to get a new phone because my 3-year-old phone/brick hfinally came to the point that if I slide it open, I can't slide it shut anymore without almost breaking the phone itself. Now, I've fought the smartphone revolution as long as I could but it finally came down to me having to get one. So yes, Lily has a smartphone now, even though she didn't want one *pout of all pouts*. Luckily though it was under $60 bucks including shipping and handling so that wasn't too much of a hit.

3) I got another job, still working for Dominos, but now after I pass my drug test, I'll also be working at Walgreens! It means more money, so I can save up for a car quicker and still manage rent since Xan has yet to get another job. And I'm also going for Asst. Manager at Dominos when Kyle leaves next week. I'll miss him...

Anyway, I have to get off of here because I need to get ready for work, but I'll try to update more now that things are calming down.

Signing off,
Lily

So sorry for the long delay folks, but so much is going on, I only have time to give you a quick break down.

1) My insurance company didn't set up my insurance right so they revoked my policy, I can no longer drive at this point in time.

2) Because of it not being set up properly, they won't give me a pay out from my car accident. I no longer have a car.

3) The rental car I'm in goes back today.

4) Because of the whole shebang above, I have to somehow find rent for the next week, which is almost $200 (USD) and no one to borrow from. I'll give you guys more of an update when I have one.

Signing off (don't know for how long),
Lily

So I need to do it.. A VMAs blog... Because honestly, I don't know what in the Hell I saw tonight... I haven't paid any attention to the VMAs sine the last time *NSync performed on them because right around that time the show just starte sucking as it was. So, finding out *NSync was going to be there all at one time, I got happy, decided I would actually watch it this time.

*clears throat* WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE VMAS? I mean, seriously, the VMAs have always been a chance for people to dress to impress (or turn heads), but this time... What the Hell was that?

Due to the commercials leading up to it I knew that Miley Cyrus would be there, but I did not expect this:

Or this:

I mean, hell, even Lil' Kim was wearing more than her. Lil' freakin' Kim, who is known for wearing this type of crap:



Was wearing this outfit:

All I saw on that stage tonight was a sad, pathetic little girl who's embarrassing her dad's name. I'm not a huge B. Cryus fan, but come on, how can you not look at the below gif and not feel bad for him.



If she was my daughter, I was disown her instead of the other way around. She's disgusting... It.. I mean come on, you know it's bad when Will Smith can't even look at you right...



See what I mean? Anyway, enough of her... So, what was with the 12 seconds of *NSync performance modeled around Justin fucking up his own music for how long? I mean seriously... And his performance wasn't even all that pleasing. He barely sang along to his track, when he did sing he sounded like he didn't even warm up his voice, and when the songs were playing they were all warped and messed up. I mean, I haven't like his stuff since after he had Justified, so having to hear the songs that have been raping my ears for the past few years being messed up as they were for the performance just... I muted almost all of it...

It was still great to see them out on stage again. Yes, I've been a fan of *NSync since *NSync *N Concert On Disney, and since the dreaded hiatus I've always said they didn't need Justin to carry on. Hell, BSB did it without Kevin, and made how many albums without him? Yes, happily he is back, but as far as my opinion goes, *NSync could have still toured without him. But eh, I digress.

I need to get some rest so I can wake up early enough to get the rental car and go take my drug test. Later folks.

Signing off,
Lily

So as promised I have uploaded the pics of my accident, and this blog is kind of a 2-in-1 deal since on top of getting you guys the photos, I'm also unveiling my new facebook page for you guys!

------->Clicky-clicky<-------

I finally found a way around worrying about them seeing it as 2 profiles for the same 1 person since I already have one not-related to this blog. But anyway, aside from the pics being there, sometimes my facebook gets updated more than my blog so it will be a good way for you guys to get updates when I don't blog.

I have to get off of here though so I can get a ride to the scene so I can take pics of the skid marks. It was too dark to last night, and I got a ticket for following too closely when I know I slid a good bit before I actually hit the lady's truck.

Signing off,
Lily

Okay, so today...is shit... I got into a car wreck tonight, and I'll be posting pictures of it tomorrow, but my car is dead... I haven't gotten the car to a body shop yet (since no where is open until Monday and I don't want it sitting anywhere it could be unsafe in) so I don't know if it's totaled or not, but it's bad...

My brakes locked when I was trying to avoid hitting someone and it just caused me to go into a slide, straight into the back of a Chevy Silverado. All that happened to her truck was me damaging the silver of her bumper, and it separated by about an inch from the actual truck bed. It wasn't hanging off or anything, just slightly pulled away and scratched, and she's bitching while my hood is bowed back, my radiator is obviously messed up to where my car can't even drive. Luckily no one was hurt physically, I just had a mental collapse while waiting for the cops.

I have NEVER been in an accident like this, let alone at all in the 13 years I've been driving, so I don't even know where to start on getting everything resolved. So on top of being irritated at me for scratching her bumper in the middle of totaling my car, she's got to take charge and call the cops while I call my store. Hey, by the way, I was delivering... I was literally on my way to work from a delivery when this all happened, pulled off the road into the parking lot my Domino's is in. So I call Tyler and let him know what's going on, and start filling out my paperwork that Domino's have us fill out in case of an accident, waiting for the cop while she calls her insurance company.

I didn't even think to call the insurance company until the cop asked if I had already called them; I'm a wreck. Gods, I still am a wreck. I'm not allowed to work until the results from my drug test comes back, but I can't even take it until Monday, and from there it can take 3-4 days to get back from the lab. So I'm going to out of work for almost a week just with the drug test.

After that I can still return once I get my rental car. Luckily my insurance will cover up to $30 (USD) a day, up to $900, so there's that until I get my car fixed up, if it can be... And my deductible is $500 so that's good at least... I don't know where I'm going to find the $500 though, or anything over the $30 for the rental car the insurance people will cover...

Gods, this is so much, I don't know how I'm handling it at this point. My head hurts, things are kind of at the end of the tunnel with what little I'm even absorbing right now. I feel like I'm just watching things, wondering why the Hell this is even happening... Why did this have to happen? I just... I don't know right now. I just need to tuck my tail between my legs and curl up in a fetal position against Nojaun's side and try to come back to Earth. I'm so lost right now..

Before I sign off, I just want to say thank you France for joining my viewers. Even though I may not seem very enthusiastic about it, I am. I'm always happy to see someone join in, but as you've just read, I'm pretty much going through hell right now...

Signing off,
Lily

I high-jacked Nojuan's computer for a moment because I just saw something I absolutely have to share with you guys... I'll be giving you another entry tomorrow when I'm off, but just a little goody for tonight.

Click this link to watch the video that made me almost pee myself.

Signing off,
Lily

I'm a zombie and I've come to eat your...churros? I don't know why but I'm seriously craving a churro. As for the zombie comment, I'm tired boss. Dog tired... Props if you know what movie that is from. Anyway, I'm a zombie because I have been awake since shortly before 2PM (EST) on 8-18 and it's now almost 8AM (EST) on 8-19. You see, I would have gone to bed by now, but yesterday (before finding out insomnia would be a demon I'd have to chase away) I told my co-worker Dave, the one with the stutter that I mentioned, that I would over his 10AM-5PM shift today so he could get his car repaired.

He's stayed late so I could leave when I wasn't feeling good before, so I figure I owe him one, you know? So I have to open this morning, with no sleep, and we all know by now that when my schedule says I leave at 5PM, I can almost certainly bank on 8-9PM as my actual leaving time. Which it can be safe to say this means I am passing the fuck out when I get home. Especially since I open tomorrow as well. At least then I go in at 11:30AM instead of 10AM like this morning. I'm going to die...

So I decided that if I can get all the repairs that are needed to my car done by the time FWA (Furry Weekend Atlanta) rolls around this upcoming event I would really like to go. Not sure if I'm going to try to find some half-ass way to have some sort of thing resembling a suit or not, but I do definitely want to go and it's only going to happen if things are all caught up and out of the way. Let me know if any of you guys will be going this upcoming event or not, maybe we can meet up if any of you are in the area.

So, to keep myself awake until I go to work I'm going to go surf the net and look for things to do to occupy my time with. I'll catch up with you guys later.

Signing off,
Lily

So Tyler wants us to believe he's turned over a new leaf to be a better manager... Friday I was having major car troubles and he wouldn't let me call out even though I told him it took me 3 hours to get my car home from Marietta. Douche. Anyway...  We have a couple of new people though I've only seen one of them actual start working (the other two were at the store meeting last week so I know they exist) and his name is Josh. He seems to be a pretty cool kid so far. He's coming to us from Pizza Hut, which so far from what I've seen we did a good steal since he seems to be easily trained.

He's kind of a mutt, but he's a red-head, and we all know my thing for red-heads by now lol. He's 8 years my junior (20) so that's just not going to go to anything past friends. I don't go for anyone more than 2 years younger than me if I can help it, unless the personality is there. But not 8. That's too close to being 10 years younger than me, so I have to say the ABSOLUTE cut off point would have to be 5 years younger than me. AT MOST.

But anyway, I just wanted to give you guys an update on how I was doing and OH! By the way, Nojuan, Xan and I are looking into rent-to-own places in the area so we can get out of our little sardine can. I'll keep you posted on the search progress ^_^.

Signing off,
Lily

No, I'm not dead, I've just been otherwise incapacitated... Meaning I had to pawn my laptop to have money or rent or the three of us would be out on the street. So Nojuan was nice enough to let me on his laptop so I could let you guys know I am still alive. It's going to be a while before I get my laptop back, but I will get it back. Until then blogs are going to be very sparse since he runs his own stuff on his laptop and I don't want to get in the way of it. And Xan's internet on his laptop is kind of crap (meaning almost never works) so my options are very limited.

But aside from that, nothing new is really going on in our furry lives right now. Just struggling to make it day to day like everyone else out there. It's become very obvious I'm not making it to the Fall Out Boy tour in September. I've given up hope on that even happening. My birthday went okay I suppose. Spent it laid up with a tooth infection that had taken on the form of a wicked abscess so not much happened that day.

Nothing else really... Sorry again for the upcoming lack of blogs, but until I get my little guy back I'm going to be limited to either trips to the library, which kill gas, or when Nojuan might be able to let me slip onto his laptop.

Take care of yourselves folks and know that y'all are always on my mind!

Signing off,
Lily

Okay, this is getting to be just a bit old... I had to go to the hospital again this morning due to another ruptured cyst on my blasted ovary. This is too much. I'm doped up on 3 different injections right now, and if I didn't keep correcting every mistake I made as I noticed it, this blog would be unreadable. So I'm going to go ahead and get the pills they prescribed me this time; maybe if I had done it the first time I wouldn't have had to o back ><! I still have to stop by work to turn in my doctor's note since I'm supposed to work tonight but that's just not happening. I can't legally drive right now. Nojuan is driving for me.

I also keep having trouble with my eyelids. They're too heavy for my poor facial muscles to hold them up, which is another reason I'm glad Nojuan is driving me right now. I had him drop me off since it took forever last time, but they got me in right away sicne no one was in the waiting room anf then they made me wait for him to be there before they would give me anything for the pain. How rude.

Oh, ha, last night Chuck caught my deadpan face. Not caught it himself, but caught it in action. Want to laugh? Read on.

So, the fox and I were talking about how the new manager wants to cross-train all employees, which means us drivers would also be in charge of making food sometimes. I'm always busy doing other prep, stock,and work items to where there is never a point I could hop on the make line to learn anything. I'm not saying I won't do it, accept the cross-training that is, but I am saying I'll never be over there enough to remember everything I learned in the cross-training so I don't think it's a good idea. There has never been a time where anyone I was opening with asked me to help them make food because they always have it under control themselves and two people being over there would just put me in the way. He agrees with me.

Sidenote: Chuck is one of the few co-workers I like and get along with all the time. If I have mentioned this before and I'm currently just repeating myself, forgive me. It's the drugs they put in me.

So, while we're talking about this, we're alost done when the chihuahua (yes Stephanie) came around the corner and asked what we were talking about. Shoving my tongue in my cheek I explained what we were talking about and then she opened her mouth. Keep in mind, she's been there for YEARS.

"I don't think the drivers should be cross-trained because it could effect our efficiency. I mean, we already do so much, adding on more information would just make us forget some of the things we already know. It's just too much to put on our plates and we never go near there anyway. I think we shouldn't do it because it'll just mess us up."

The minute the first part of that sentence leaves her mouth I just give her this look. It's my look that I usually only give people in my head, but she spewed forth so much stupid that my look came out. The best picture I could find to represent it was this one:



And finally, she stopped talking and walked away. The whole time she's talking and I'm giving her that look, Chuck is standing there and I can see out of the corner of my eye, he's looking at her and then to me, and back to her and just like me, he doesn't say one word to her. But he comes to me, puts his hand on my shoulder, laughing, and says to me, "Lily, you were giving her one hell of a shitty look." Of course he's enjoying it because like me, he can't stand her stupid teacup guts.

I mean seriously, if you can't multi-task without forgetting stuff you've known for YEARS then maybe, just MAYBE you should try to move on and find a different job. You don't belong here.

Anyway, I need to get to work so I can turn in my doctor's note and see if I can find someone to cover my shift.

Signing off,
Lily

So my gram is going into surgery today for her hip. I'm worried about her because she didn't sound like she was expecting it go good. I'm also not happy about her going into a damn home after her surgery so she can recover there instead of her own home. I don't know, maybe I'm just upset over nothing. I need something to get my mind off of it, any suggestions?

Sorry this blog is going to be so short today, I'm just not... I'm not feeling it right now. It's not what I need, but I don't know what I do need... Only what I don't.

Signing off,
Lily

What...in the Hell...am I going to do with my grandma? This damn woman fell, and it took my mom 3 hours. 3 damn hours to convince her to get it checked out. She broke her hip, across the whole piece and has to have it all replaced. She's going to have to have an artificial hip put in since it's too damaged to even go through the whole pin process.

Now, my mom has always had my gram take care of her because apparently she's forgotten how to be a living, breathing human herself. She can almost never stand it when my gram even talks, has even snapped at her in her own home for talking. Apparently, in front of the doctors she snapped at my gram so instead of letting her go home for recovery once they've replaced her hip, they're sending her to a home. She'll be allowed to go home when she's done recuperating, which is going to suck for her. But... She's going to be getting a vacation from my mom and the hell she goes through with her, so I'm hoping she's getting a break. I'm just not happy she has to go to a home to do so. The last time anyone I cared about went into a home, he died there.

I know she won't die in there (she better not) but I still don't like that her daughter is such a piece of work that my gram can't even relax in her own home to get better. That pisses me off on so many levels. I'm kind of dreading going into work tonight, I don't know why. I just get this feeling like I need to not go in, but I can't afford to not to, so I wish it would go away.

I'm going to at least eat before work, maybe get in some Desperate Housewives.

Signing off,
Lily

Okay... So, what to talk about... I want to give you guys an update and say hello to my new viewer in Serbia, but I don't know what to talk about... Hmmm...

Here's a topic, YouTube. I mainly use YouTube for music video, but there are times where I tune into actual YouTubers to see what on Earth they've posted this time. For example, Jack Douglass and Toby Turner.

 

Jack Douglass (JacksFilms)

 

Toby Turner (Tobuscus)

I have got to say, these two crazy sons of bitches are the rare ones. I almost never pick YouTubers to actually subscribe to and somehow they made me do it. Maybe it's their creativity, but whatever it is, they have me hooked. I didn't even find them on my own, I can thank Nojuan for that one. He was looking up Skyrim playthroughs and he found this crazy guy screaming about Lydia dying. Isn't that something we all dream of when playing Skyrim? Finding a way to kill that annoying NPC who just loves to get in your way and push you off of places you would really rather not fall from? The one time I caused a dragon to kill her was so fucking awesome!!!.....And then I couldn't get my belongings from her corpse because the game glitched and I hadn't save in 3 hours... God... Damn... It.

So Nojuan started looking more into this Tobuscus guy, and from there we found his other channels and I got suckered into watching his ADHD self until his videos became oddly addicting... Now, I'm not one of those Tobuscus fans that want to kidnap him, tie him up and use his body to my heart's desires. No, that's Nojuan XD.

Then I got curious about this guy who had Tobuscus in his videos for this amazing skit called Your Grammar Sucks. Episode #20 was my first taste, which caused me to go back and watch it all from the beginning to current, and I'm still looking forward to more of them. Then again, that's probably because I'm a total grammar Nazi half the damn time. Below you'll find the video that got me hooked.

After watching all the YGS episodes I started going back to Jack's other video and holy christ this kid is (only 3 years younger, but will still get called kid) talented as hell. He's definitely found what he's supposed to do. I'm happy for anyone who does.

Anyway, I'm tired and technically on call for the morning shift. if they need me I need to not be woken up by the phone call, which I would sleep through if I stay up much later. At least if they don't call I can sleep in until my actual 6:30p-10p scheduled shift. But, before I go, any suggestions from you guys as to what videos to watch? Or what YouTubers to check out? E-mail links are to the side and I'm always up for suggestions.

Signing off,
Lily

So my birthday is coming up, what should I do? Nojuan and I are thinking of going to the Georgia Aquarium since we both love sea life and we haven't been to one in a super long time. But I'm also open to other suggestions.

In other news I was thinking about trying to save up to go to FWA '14. For those of you who don't know what FWA stands for, click on the link to the right and all will be explained. Yep, this link right here...   Though it will be a bit to save up, at least Xan can save up for his own ticket and we can split the cost of Nojuan's ticket. It's all going to depend on how things are at the time. We might not end up going. It's all going to have to rest on what's going on when we're trying to save up.

Right now I need to save up money for 2 wheel bearing hubs since both tires need to have it replaces on my car. The right one is loose so it's first on the list, but the left side is just noisy and about to go out soon. Once I get all of that taken care of we'll be able to focus on other things.

I'll keep you all posted on how that goes. Sadly though I've had one hell of a day so I need to get my tail to bed.

Signing off,
Lily

Okay, so maybe Tyler isn't so bad... My first impression of him was total penis pumper, but the first day I actually worked for him, he showed he's not a total dick unless you get on his bad side. I went to him to let him know what I needed for my schedule, which is very simple, just no two days off in a row and work me any and every shift you can, and he asked me about a note Mitch had left him... In regards to my "clock abuse"... Fucking prick...

So I laid it all out for him, ready for him to side with Mitch since both of them are managers, and instead, he tells me I was in the right. I had nothing to worry about since he understood where I was coming from. I would be lying if I tried to say I wasn't absolutely shell shocked by this bit of news. A manager, who seemed to have his head up his tail, understood the POV of a driver, way below him?? *and cue the slack-jaw thylacine*

So yeah, I didn't realize just how much had to be done at our store, cleaning wise, until Tyler came in and actually called in our Regional Manager to help him basically detox the store. He's also bringing in new policies, which I actually can say I'm totally okay with. They're methods that not only make sense, but should have been done a hell of a lot sooner. I like this otter ^_^. He's okay in my book. Especially since he made Kiki feel like a whore XD. I mean shit, come on, she came in wearng shorts that stopped just below her thighs, but weren't quite down to her knees. Company policy states nothing above the knees (HAHAHAHA *sing-song* Not below the eyebrows -- props if you get he reference) when wearing shorts and he flat out looked at her. "What the fuck are you wearing?"

It made the little me in my head do a cartwheel after seeing the look on her face. Sweet victory. I love it when a male manager who isn't gay, can look past a girl's cuteness to tell her how it is. It's always awesome to see, even if it is rare. Anyway, I really don't have a lot of time right now since I have so much stuff I have to get done, but I just wanted to give you guys an update!

Signing off,
Lily

Yesterday was the last day with Mitch as my boss. No, I didn't lose my job, but we're getting a new manager at the store, whose name is Tyler. I've only met him once and my first impression, followed by what all I've heard about him, is "Penis Pumper."

For those of you not familiar with the term, it means someone who pumps themselves up figuratively to make themselves seem better than what they are. But of course if you're using this term it's obvious they're not as big and bad as they make themselves out to be. And this is what's going to be my new boss. The kind of guy who makes fun of speech impediments and treats his employees like crap. I've dealt with that kind of attitude when I worked at 7-Eleven for 4.5 years. I dealt with it a few times in the 9 managers I had, and when I worked for Alorica. (If you live in Kennesaw, or just work there, you know... You know... Especially if you've ever been on Ken Brinson's team) I should be used to it, but I haven't dealt with it since December of 2012 so I'm still rusty on it. It's going to take some getting used to again.

But anyway, yesterday I did almost walk out, but even when I was thinking about it I knew it was petty and just not worth it. It was also very much worth it for me to keep my snout shut and not let Mitch get to me like he was. Ever have that moment where someone in management says something to you that makes you want to say something back? And even though it would be completely valid and prove they're just being an ass you know it's best to just put your tongue in your cheek and keep on? It was one of those moments for the last 10 minutes of my shift.

My shift was due to end at 10:30, and I came in at 6:30. So, 4 hours that went awesome because the minute I clocked in I was on the road. When I came back to the store I was out the door again. I didn't have time for anything else. Not to piss, not to get a drink, just straight to the road. Seriously hectic, we were just jammed. So when I get back from my last run he tells me to get my money and when I have it, I ask him if he wanted to check me out in back, or up front. When he told me in back and started walking towards me I thought he was right behind me so I went to his office and sat in the chair to sort my money. So I'm doing that when I heard him tell Jeremy to pass on some message to me I didn't catch.

Basically instead of me just sitting there, waiting for him until he can get to me he wants me to either fold boxes or do dishes. Okay, no problem. So I start busting out boxes as fast as I can and out of nowhere, keep in mind that I'm in back and he's in the front of the store, I hear him bellow, "Lily, I'm mad at you!" The first thought on my mind is, "Did I get a customer complaint?" I go up front and ask him why he was mad at me.

Now, before I go further, let me say this. I was SCHEDULED for 30 hours this past week and I've asked not to get consecutive days off and he usually does this for me, but I wound up with both Wed and Thur off. I asked if I could switch days with someone and he said instead I could just come in at 11 on Thursday and work until I was no longer need. He kept me til sometime after 9. That's a 10 hour shift, so if I get out of work on time every day I'll be around 40 hrs. I never get out on time, I always get kept way later than what my scheduled hours say for each day, and this is because they keep me until I'm no longer needed.

Now, apparently before I even came in I was at 42 hours because of being kept over, so by the time my day was done, I was at 46 hrs. 6 hours of overtime caused by managers not letting me leave on time, or even remotely near my scheduled clock out time. I'll continue now.

He starts cussing me out for reaching 6 hours of overtime. Me. Okay, hold on. One, I can't leave at my scheduled time because I'm not the person to make that decision, the shift manager is. Two, I don't even keep track of when I'm supposed to clock out because I never get out at that time so I never pay attention to where I'm at hour wise. That's his job as a manager. He monitors everyone's hours, why didn't he notice I was at overtime before I even came in? He could have told me not to even come in but he let me come in and clock in, so whose fault is it that I'm at 46 hours this week? Sure as hell not mine.

When he starts bitching about paying me $11/hr (USD) I point out to him, I don't monitor my hours because I did whatever was asked of me and I apologized sincerely for hitting 46 hours and let him know I was back there doing the boxes like he had asked me to. He's still going off about it while I'm in the back room busting out what boxes I can before he can come in the back room to check me out. With customers in the store. And let me point this out, if you think my cursing is bad in text, double that vocally and you have what he was doing in front of employees and customers. I have a huge public berating issue so I'm suffering massive embarrassment as he's blasting on me in front of a store full of people even though I'm doing the chore he asked me to do.

I bust out almost 100 boxes in the last 5 minutes of my shift until he can get me checked out and when he does, he doesn't stop, telling me he's going to make sure Tyler knows I abuse the clock and that he's pissed he's been working since the morning and I was only there for 4 hours and I got extra money for it. He even went so far as to say to me, "What did you do that was so fucking great to deserve the overtime pay?" When I pointed out I had been in and out of the store, and he was witness to this, he said, "So nothing. You've done nothing, I'm going to make sure to tell Tyler about this because this is bullshit."

I just kept my snout clamped shut, my teeth one step away from grinding against each other as I just keep envisioning opening it and closing it around that stupid fucking head of his. He's planning on painting a wrong picture of me to the new manager just because he's mad he lost track of my hours and kept me longer than he should have on numerous days, including that 10 hour shift on Thursday that he kept me the whole day for. Trying to kiss as in some way I went as far as to ask him if he wanted me to break out some more boxes for him, off the clock, to help get them some since they were running out. All I get in response is a command to get out of his store. Prick. I'm glad today is the day of new management, but I'm not glad it's Tyler.

I know to keep my tongue in my cheek because I need this job, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking for a new job so I can leave this one. Wish me luck in my job search. And wish me luck making it through today. I only got one hour of sleep in since my cyst problem flared up pain wise. It finally went away part way through watching "Princess Bride", but there was no way I would be able to get back to sleep by then so I settled on blogging  ^_^.  I do have stuff to do before work so I need to get off of here.

Signing off,
Lily

So you may have noticed my fish tank ^_^. I did a couple of changes to the blog to accommodate a little for my international viewers. Make things a little easier, like the translator I put in at the top of the page for easy finding ^_^. I also added a subscribe button so you guys don't have to keep checking back for an update, it'll let you know when I do now!

In other news, I haven't really been on due to being put on bed rest by my doctor since I wound up in the hospital the day after my last post. I thought my appendix was rupturing because of the pain I was going through. Unfortunately, I have this huge fear of going under the knife, mostly because I know of the horror stories and what can go wrong. To give you an example of how afraid I am of it, the doctor came to let me know my white cell count was through the roof so they wanted to do a CT Scan to make sure it wasn't my appendix before they looked elsewhere, but it was going in that direction. As soon as he tells me this my BP shot up by 30 points, which only served to worry him for my safety.

Luckily I avoided surgery... Because it was a cyst that had ruptured on my right ovary, which is why the pain was in the area that it was. Unfortunately until my body recovers from it more I have to take it easy, which means I'm totally hiding it from work. Luckily, the first day led into the day I had requested off to begin with so I didn't need to call off and expose everything. I'll be honest here, when I'm hurt so bad I have to, or rather, I should be calling off, I try to keep it quiet from my jobs so they won't try to send me home early. If they do send me home it means I can't make money, and if I can't make money, well... Bye bye car, home, you get the point.

In the great news section of my life XAN GOT A MOTHERFUCKING JOB!!!! It's at the Zaxby's up the road, which is convenient enough for my liking, but what irritates me is that when he got here back in April he was supposed to go there to begin with and didn't. The first time he goes there his ass gets hired and starts the very next day. I wanted to punch that folf in the snout so bad poor Nojuan got the brunt of my irritation. But I made up for it by taking him to visit our friend Mary ^_^.

Anyway, this does mean I won't be the only one paying rent anymore which means I can start saving money for possibly getting myself to the FOB concert in September, if that even happens. Knowing my luck those will sell out before I get a chance to get any and I'll be grumbling that whole month. It's the only thing I want to do for myself as a bday present. Now, granted, my bday is this month but it would be a late bday gift to myself ^_^.

Alright everyone, it's that time for me to head off of here. I have to go to work in the morning (yuck) to make some monies. Take care everyone!

Signing off,
Lily

What a last couple of days... First off, net is down again so I'm having to use my comp outside again since it's the only way I can seem to get internet, which is irritating as Hell, but I'll deal with it.

First off, before I can go further into this, what the Hell is it with that "Cups" song? I can't get it out of my head and listening to it isn't satisfying it. I don't feel like having this shit on repeat, but at the same time I like it when it comes on the radio. I dunno. It's good. Also, that "Same Love" too. Then again, I like it partially because it's pro-gay and I'm bi myself and I have a lot of gay fans. It's a good song in general, sends a great message that people need to listen to. But that's as far as I'm going with that.

Next subject, I finally got pissed enough to tell Xan he has a week to at least start getting interviews or he was out. I'm tired of paying him when he has no reason as to why he's not at least looking for a job. He's buckled down since then at least, but the minute he starts telling me he has interviews, and then stops, I'm only giving him another week since it'll give him time to find out if interviews paid off. If they don't, then he needs to at least keep trying because I can't keep this up much longer. Especially not with the attitude he's gotten with me lately about having to do anything around the apartment.

I swear, between him and Mitch (manager) I'm just aching to smack someone. Not punch, because that's expected. But smack, because no one, NO ONE expects to be on the receiving end of a full on bitch smack. I need to see someone all gaped-muzzle at me right about now since everyone seems to be expecting my respect but not showing me any in return.

I ask Xan to do the dishes, or pick up trash, and I get this "Yes Mom" or "Yes Boss" snip. Take Friday for example: There is this big blow up fight because I get sick and tired of everything and I reached my point and blew up. I told Xan he had to use his one week of pay from the last job to get his ass back home because I was tired, done, over it, however you want to put it. I was finished and he had to go. When I calmed down as much as I could, Nojuan talked me into at least giving him time to turn around, so when I let him know he had time, out came that "Yes Boss" shit. So I snapped and let him know how close to being homeless he was by throwing back at him, "Or you could just go now." He shut up pretty quick.

Unfortunately, I can't speak up all the time, like at work. I'm doing my job just fucking fine at work and I keep getting blamed for things I don't even have my paws on. Labels were put on the wrong boxes by one of the 3 employees doing this task, while I'm manning the oven the whole time, and suddenly it's my fault. How is it my fault if I'm not even on the same side of the counter as the other 3? I even point this out and the other 3 get this deer in the headlights look because I threw them under the bus. But, the minute they heard me getting blamed, one of them should have piped up. I've covered shifts for these furs and they can't even raise their voice if they fuck up and I'm getting blamed for it right in front of them?

Not cool. See how quick I jump to help you out next time you even start with, "Hey Lily, can you-"  Just no. Until I either forgive (I'm a Leo, natural grudge-holder) or they apologize for me to be able to forgive them, I'm not going to be feeling very generous.

I'm going to sidetrack now, get away from that, because my paws are flying so fast over the keyboard I think I'm going to break some keys, and talk about a lighter, great news moment.

I've put more work in for the one-shot my readers won from me. I did hit a temporary brick wall when a topic came up that I wasn't sure how she would feel if I included it. So I had to email her and wait for her answer before I could continue, but when all was said and done, I could continue with the idea I had in regards to the flow of the story. I'm so glad I was able to keep working with what I had in mind instead of having to change things completely. I won't lie, it would have been hard to do so, but it would have definitely been a challenge.

Anyway, now that I've gotten all of that out, and calmed down, I'm going to hop off here and put more work into the fic.

Signing off,
Lily

So I learned a valuable lesson... I can NOT, under any circumstances, open and close in the same day, and then try to do it a repeat the next day with neighbors that stay up until 4 am (EST) when I have to break down and call the cops to get them to stop when I've asked nicely. The last 2 days, I opened and closed within the dame day and today/yesterday, it wasn't pretty.

I managed to wake up at my alarms and then I checked my texts....then passed right back out until  mins before I had to be at work. I was so tired I didn't pull on my undershirt under my work shirt. Sheby pointed it out to me when I got in by pointing out she could see my neck tattoo. A little reminder, my neck tattoo is a choker with 3 stars trailing down the hollow of my throat to look like dangling jewelry. The stars are in the same color order as the stars in the Steelers icon. (Warning: I'm a football fan, as I am a huge Steelers fan. I may be a girl, but my game balls drop when football season rolls around. You will see some outbursts during this time.) I have to keep this tattoo covered because with it being a choker it looks like a piece of jewelry and therefor I have to keep it covered with a turtleneck. Not fun.

So, to continue, I was trying to keep myself going, but I was working with David, and we're both trying to outwork each other, and I barely have enough energy as it is so stuff runs out fast. It gets down to the point where I'm standing there, manning the oven, and next thing I know Sheby is lightly touching my left shoulder... I had fallen asleep, standing, while cutting a pizza. She told me to go ahead and go home since she would rather me be asleep at the pizza wheel than the steering wheel. I'm not in any trouble, but now they can know what my limits are. Thankfully tomorrow I'm off, so I can get as much rest in as I can.

I'm going to go ahead and hop off of here so I can work on that one-shot for my reader, and then get some rest, but before I got to bed... I got a huge surprise today when I first hopped on here to post a new blog, so I have to say this:

United States, Russia, Germany, Ukraine, United Kingdom, Netherlands, Brazil, Poland, Taiwan, and Venezuela. Thank you all so much for reading my blog. As I always say, I appreciate seeing new readers. Enjoy your stay folks!

Signing off,
Lily

Okay, I'm done for the day. I made it out alive somehow, and was about to eat dinner (even though it's 4:11am (EST) right now) when I decided to check and see if I had any emails from you guys about the potential Lily Tumblr account. Instead I saw something awesome.

Taiwan!!! Thank YOU for joining my readers ^_^. It's always nice to see new viewers, in all countries. Granted, I still love Germany, Russia, US, everyone that's been watching me, but it's always a little thrill for me to see when a new country has joined my list, and more green has been filled in on my country screen. That really is something I enjoy from Blogger; the ability to see who all is actually watching me, aside from seeing the hit counter go up.

It's nice seeing so many people tune in.

But sadly I've been going since 9:50am (EST) and I've already had auto-pilot moments, where I seriously have lots bits of my day from when it was going on today. I know I'm pretty bad off when I make as many typos as I have been the last few moments, but have been cleaning up as best I can to make sure it's nice for you guys. I do have a longer entry coming tomorrow, but that will happen when I wake up.

My good friend Mary was able to hang out tonight with me, Nojuan, and Xan, so hopefully I'll be able to get to sleep just fine when I do lay down.

Signing off,
Lily

Pizza rolls when I work at Domino's... This is wrong lol. So, I don't have long since I'm pulling a swing shift today. One co-worker has a sick grandmother that might not make it through the night and another one got locked up yesterday. Unfortunately the one who got arrested is one of my favorite co-workers. But also unfortunately he did something very stupid, which I would have smacked him for if he hadn't gotten locked up. Of course all of this means I have to close tonight after I opened earlier. I was supposed to go in at 9, but Mitch called and asked me to come in at 8 instead so my relax time just got cut super short.

Hell, at this point I only have 1 hour left to relax before I have to put my work clothes back on and get back out on the road. *collapses in heap of ugh*

Anywho, I finally got an idea going for a reader of mine who won a free one-shot from me. It did take me a bit of thinking but I finally got it going and I sent her a small snippet from it, which she did love. So of course I'm inspired to work on it more. I think for now though I'm going to lose myself in Desperate Housewives or something so I can fully relax until I have to go back in.

Signing off,
Lily

ps- I was thinking of opening a Tumblr so you guys could communicate more directly with me if you had wanted to. Email me at thylacinelily@gmail.com if you want to give your input ^_^.

*sings* If you got leavin' on your mind, tell me now, get it over..*stops singing, looks around* Oh wait, sorry, listening to old Patsy Cline. Gods I miss her music. When I was a little kit my gramps used to play her songs on cassette in the car anytime we went driving. I recently downloaded some of her music to poke at my nostalgia. Lately it's been worse, I'll be honest with you. But that's not why I've been gone.

It's a mixture of internet not working, and my schedule is so crazy that when it is working, I'm sleeping so I can be ready to go back to work. Today is the first day I've had since the 7th and I'm enjoying the privacy. It's just me and Nojuan since thank the fucking Gods above, Xan FINALLY got the job at Alorica, where I used to work. He's during his training period now but he seems to be blending in just fine, so hopefully it'll be a good place for him. Him making what I used to will definitely help out with rent and everything, so that's good for me to know ^_^.

But, to my nostalgia... Honestly from the beginning of June until the beginning of August, I'm always an emotional wreck. June is leading into July, which is unfortunately when I lost my grandfather. July 3rd is the worst day for me since it's D-Day... And my birthday is the 27th, so it's a hard month in general. It take August showing up to make me feel better. I lost him to Alzheimer's and PTSD-Dementia (from his times in the wars) and it was one of the hardest things for me to go through since he was one of the most intellegent, brilliant men I knew. He knew how to get what he wanted, or do what he needed to get by and make his way through life. To watch him go from that, to someone who couldn't even use a spoon for yogurt because he didn't understand why his straw wasn't working was heartbreaking.

It put my family through Hell, but I know he would have never done it if he could have helped it. But that disease just doesn't care whether or not you want it, and unfortunately he was a victim of it. I won't lie, 14 years later I'm still affected by it, but it's only because I didn't have my dad as I was growing up. He left the day my youngest half-sister was born, and my gramps was the father figure I had growing up. So for me, to lose him, was losing my dad.

But anyway, still alive over here, just fighting with internet and my schedule, nothing I can't handle. At least once Xan starts bringing in checks I'll be able to afford takin' a day off. Can't wait for that.

Before I head off of here, I wanted to say thank you to the newest place viewing my blog, Venezuela! Thank you very much for joining in the viewers! Sorry to have you join on a down note, but things are going to be getting better soon!

Signing off,
Lily