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Friday, February 28, 2014

I know it's been a bit, but really, lately, it's all kind of going to crap. I was in the hospital recently due to being over-stressed, and I had to make it clear how I felt about the Xan situation. It's starting to affect my health and that's not really okay at all. Right now my health is all I have and if I lose that then I can't keep going for Nojuan. He wants me to take better care of myself, not just for him, but for me too. Kind of hard to consider myself when I can't even stand myself...

Um, recent news, Nojuan and I have been going back and forth between watching Lost and the TV series Sherlock. That's honestly about it really, besides the fact that this week is the week I find out whether or not I'm going to have to give Xan an ultimatum.

I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but I've told Nojuan that if Xan's check isn't enough to cover his week of rent then he's going to given 2 paychecks to do one of the following:

1) Get more hours at work (They gave him the option of coming in to do the sign waving again to pull more hours and he hasn't done it ONCE since the offer was given.)
2) Get a second job. (Something he can work during some of the 5 days a week he's not working at the computer place.)
3) Or, get out.

It should not take a screaming match to get him to help out around the place since all he does is sit around and do nothing when he's not at work. Today, for example, he slept the entire day until I got home and got pissed because after working all day I had to come home and clean things HE could have done instead of being a lazy folf.

We live in a super tiny place. Any messes that would seem small in a normal-sized home are huge in this tiny space. I am sick of coming home and feeling like a single mom who just got home to find the mess her kids made. It's part of the reason I have as much stress as I do, and him not making any efforts is not helping any, so if he can't make changes like I had to then I want my biggest stress factor gone.

Anyway, I'm going to head to bed. It's 1:17am (EST) right now and I close tomorrow so I definitely want to be well rested so I'm not dragging tomorrow.

Signing off,
Lily

Thursday, February 13, 2014

So the snow melted pretty quickly this time around, which surprised me since it stayed so long last time. We had it lingering for days, but this time when I finally woke up today it was almost all gone. This Georgia weather is making my head hurt, semi quite literally. The varying pressures keeps messing with my inner ears and I think I'm getting an infection in my right one as it is.

But anyway, I've recently told Nojuan the truth, that I don't feel like I can talk to him anymore because it just keeps ending in fights, and although it did hurt his feelings, we talked about it some more to try to work it out. I didn't tell him what I couldn't talk to him about, just that I felt like I couldn't, and he said he would try to work on it.... But then I tested him a couple of times, without him knowing it, and I had to end it when things started to get tense, before they could grow into a fight. I just wish I could help him see things from y perspective, but he just can't. So, I'll just have to keep my mouth shut, which is really bugging me, but what can I do when everything I have to say on a matter causes a fight?

I think I should clarify, that I'm not mad at Nojuan, he just wants to keep the peace, like I do, and that's why he brushes off what I say at times, I just wish he would handle it differently. What I need to talk about with him is my biggest problem right now, and I know that if I talk about it, then it'll just end in a fight. Especially since I can't talk to Xan, since he's part of the reason talks keep ending up in a fight. Anytime I point out he's doing something wrong, even if I'm not aggressive about how I say what the problem is, he tries to excuse his way out of it even though there are no excuses.

All of this really is getting frustrating, and I just want the drama of it to stop. But for right now, I'm going to get off of here and see about watching some more Arrow until Nojuan rejoins the land of the living.

Signing off,
Lily

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Okay, living in Georgia is not fun right now as many of you might have heard. In my area there is so much white all over the place, but none of it is snow, just a bunch of tightly packed ice that is slush in some places. No one was able to get in and open the store today, so I got to keep my day off that was almost taken away from me. It was only almost taken away because I'm the one who can open that lives closest to the store....

...Did these people forget I still don't have a car yet? I mean, I'm still working on it, but with the money problems we were having, that have dimmed slightly (which is awesome!!), it hasn't been easy to save for a car.

It honestly seems like everytime we get a little bit of money saved back, something happens that throws us back, past the 3 steps we've managed to take forward. Luckily though my tax check helped us out, and the pay raise is helping too. I'm just glad things are finally starting to look up again; it's been way too long since we had good.

So how's winter treating everyone else? I keep hearing about power outages because of heavy snow and ice, and I'm so sorry to those who are going through that right now. Being from Florida I've been there, but because of hurricanes and few tornadoes. Hell, Frances and Andrew were the worst two I've been through and they downed the power. Most hurricanes just make stuff flicker in my part of town, but outages have happened and they are not fun.

Well, I'm going to hop of here and make dinner for everyone. Good luck folks!

Signing off,
Lily

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Not headed into the chat today folks. Today before work, it's going to be just me, my cereal, and me on Netflix, giving Arrow a try. I did want to do a quick blog though, to say I've recently started giving the Sherlock series a chance.

On that note, have you guys noticed how similar the guy who plays Watson, Martin Freeman, and the guy who played The Master in Doctor Who, John Simm, look a like? It's kind of eerie to me for some reason. Maybe it's the fact that two people who aren't related look so similar. It's always bugged me XD.

Anywho, on to Arrow!

Signing off,
Lily

Monday, February 10, 2014

Sorry about that folks, had some technical difficulties, aka, crazy work schedule, but it looks like things are going to slow down a little bit, maybe. But, other than that, things at work have been going pretty good for me. I helped Jenny get off of Mike's shit list, so it's official that she's not going anywhere ^_^!!! A few people were worried that she would be getting fired due to stupid politics, and that Tanner's good for nothing ass would get the store, (one even quit to go to a different Domino's because he didn't want to risk having to work under Tanner) but as of the other day her job as my manager is safe and sound ^_^.

On a sad note, 2 of my friends are getting fired, and I will be sad to see them go, but Jenny was nice enough to let them finish out the schedule she has already made up. I won't get into why they were fired, but what I will say is that I tried my hardest, like her, to work with them, and try to save their jobs, but it just didn't work, no matter what we did. I just hope losing this job doesn't put them in bad spots, I know what being without a job can do to someone. I've been there a few times myself, it's not fun.

I'm off today, and for the first bit of today Xan will be at work so I'll have some free time away from him. Honestly, lately, he's the biggest source of my stress, and it bugs me because there's no one I can talk to about it, besides you guys. I tried talking to Nojuan about it, but anytime I do it causes fights, and I'm just so done with the fighting I don't even talk anymore. I just keep it in. I know it's not good to keep things in like that, but I fair better when I keep it in, then when it all comes out, then causes a fight, because of the turn the fights take. I would just rather keep my mouth shut and wait for the time that I can get him out of my life.

I don't care if him and Nojuan keep in touch, or if he ever comes over to hang out, but I can't stand living with him anymore. Ever since he lied to me back in August, over his job at Zaxby's, I have not been able to trust him. I warned him this would happen, and he chose to not heed my warning. I just glanced back at my prior blogs and I never told you guys about that happening, so I'll give you a bit of a back story.

Back in August, when I had my accident, I had the rental car for a couple of days when I was out on a delivery and it was around the time Xan was due to get off of work. It was Sunday and he was due to get out at 2 so I called his Zaxby's to tell him to stay there and not get a ride from a co-worker since I was in the area and could swing by and take him home on my way back to the store. But when I called the store and asked if Xan had left yet, the worker on the phone told me she didn't understand why I was looking for him at the store since he had gotten fired on Friday. I asked her if we were talking about the same person, and she described him to me and sure enough, it is Xan.

She offered to tell me why he got fired, but I thought he would tell me himself, and if she did tell me she could have gotten fired, and I didn't want to do that to someone who was nice enough to tell me a truth my own room mate couldn't tell me. Apparently when he got fired, he had kept walking up there in his uniform and just hanging around, so that when Nojuan and I saw him leave, we wouldn't think anything of it because he was in uniform. I thanked her and headed back to work, finished up my day, and I got home before Xan did.

After I talked with Nojuan about what we had found out, we agreed to wait and see how long it would take him to tell us. Finally Wednesday rolled around, and I was kind of over it by this point, so when he got home I asked him, "Who was nice enough to give you a ride home?" And his response was "Just a cashier, and for the life of me I can't remember her name." Really? The guy who can name everyone in the store in one go suddenly can't remember a co-worker's name? That was the point that we told him we knew he didn't have a job and I asked him what did he get fired for?

He refused to tell me, saying that he had been going back up there and whatnot to try to get his job back, but he was going to get it handled so I needed to stay out of it. But I pointed out to him that the Xan we knew didn't get fired from places, he either quit if the place was crap, or stayed if it was good. After pointing that out, I also pointed out that after having been lied to for the last 5 days, I deserved to know why I would have to pay his part of the rent now, and his part of food, smokes, and anything else that came along until he could get another job. He started to refuse to tell me, and I warned him, right then and there, that I was starting to lose my trust in him after he lied to me for 5 days, and put us in a bad spot, and that if he didn't tell me I would have further problems trusting him in the future. And, if it reached a low enough level of trust I wouldn't want him living with us anymore because I CAN. NOT. live with someone I don't trust. I moved out of Florida to get away from that stress. And he didn't listen.

Several weeks down the road all he had finally told us was that it was a super busy day at work, he had been thrown up front, which he had no training for, since he was all kitchen, and he told the manager in charge that he would be able to work better if he was back in the kitchen. Supposedly the manager was a teenage brat who didn't like his command being questioned so he fired him at the end of the shift for "insubordination". Well, right after my accident I had applied for food stamps, and they needed proof that Xan had been fired so he had to go there and get a release form, which stated why was fired...

According to the managers, Xan had been fired for threatening behavior AND insubordination. Okay... So not only did he lie about having a job still for 5 days, he lied also about why he had been fired. So ever since then I just have not been able to trust him, because every now and then we won't have anything at all for food or rent, but somehow he has money for lunch at work. He's just lying more and I just can't live with him. So as soon as I can, I want to get rid of him, and again, I don't care if he and Nojuan keep in touch, not at all, but I don't want to live with him anymore because he went past the P.S.R. with my trust.

Wow, this is a longer blog than I had planned to type, but anyway, there's the update for you guys, and I'll try to post more soon!

Signing off,
Lily
Okay folks, before I get today's blog going, I wanted to let you know I'd be hopping into the chat to use it for it's intended purpose while I type up the blog ^_^. All you have to do to join in is click the link to the right that says Lily's Thicket, and voila! Hope to see you there!

Signing off (for now),
Lily