What a last couple of days... First off, net is down again so I'm having to use my comp outside again since it's the only way I can seem to get internet, which is irritating as Hell, but I'll deal with it.

First off, before I can go further into this, what the Hell is it with that "Cups" song? I can't get it out of my head and listening to it isn't satisfying it. I don't feel like having this shit on repeat, but at the same time I like it when it comes on the radio. I dunno. It's good. Also, that "Same Love" too. Then again, I like it partially because it's pro-gay and I'm bi myself and I have a lot of gay fans. It's a good song in general, sends a great message that people need to listen to. But that's as far as I'm going with that.

Next subject, I finally got pissed enough to tell Xan he has a week to at least start getting interviews or he was out. I'm tired of paying him when he has no reason as to why he's not at least looking for a job. He's buckled down since then at least, but the minute he starts telling me he has interviews, and then stops, I'm only giving him another week since it'll give him time to find out if interviews paid off. If they don't, then he needs to at least keep trying because I can't keep this up much longer. Especially not with the attitude he's gotten with me lately about having to do anything around the apartment.

I swear, between him and Mitch (manager) I'm just aching to smack someone. Not punch, because that's expected. But smack, because no one, NO ONE expects to be on the receiving end of a full on bitch smack. I need to see someone all gaped-muzzle at me right about now since everyone seems to be expecting my respect but not showing me any in return.

I ask Xan to do the dishes, or pick up trash, and I get this "Yes Mom" or "Yes Boss" snip. Take Friday for example: There is this big blow up fight because I get sick and tired of everything and I reached my point and blew up. I told Xan he had to use his one week of pay from the last job to get his ass back home because I was tired, done, over it, however you want to put it. I was finished and he had to go. When I calmed down as much as I could, Nojuan talked me into at least giving him time to turn around, so when I let him know he had time, out came that "Yes Boss" shit. So I snapped and let him know how close to being homeless he was by throwing back at him, "Or you could just go now." He shut up pretty quick.

Unfortunately, I can't speak up all the time, like at work. I'm doing my job just fucking fine at work and I keep getting blamed for things I don't even have my paws on. Labels were put on the wrong boxes by one of the 3 employees doing this task, while I'm manning the oven the whole time, and suddenly it's my fault. How is it my fault if I'm not even on the same side of the counter as the other 3? I even point this out and the other 3 get this deer in the headlights look because I threw them under the bus. But, the minute they heard me getting blamed, one of them should have piped up. I've covered shifts for these furs and they can't even raise their voice if they fuck up and I'm getting blamed for it right in front of them?

Not cool. See how quick I jump to help you out next time you even start with, "Hey Lily, can you-"  Just no. Until I either forgive (I'm a Leo, natural grudge-holder) or they apologize for me to be able to forgive them, I'm not going to be feeling very generous.

I'm going to sidetrack now, get away from that, because my paws are flying so fast over the keyboard I think I'm going to break some keys, and talk about a lighter, great news moment.

I've put more work in for the one-shot my readers won from me. I did hit a temporary brick wall when a topic came up that I wasn't sure how she would feel if I included it. So I had to email her and wait for her answer before I could continue, but when all was said and done, I could continue with the idea I had in regards to the flow of the story. I'm so glad I was able to keep working with what I had in mind instead of having to change things completely. I won't lie, it would have been hard to do so, but it would have definitely been a challenge.

Anyway, now that I've gotten all of that out, and calmed down, I'm going to hop off here and put more work into the fic.

Signing off,
Lily