So, I have 11 days until I meet Dr. Wendell for the first time... I don't think I've mentioned her before now... Looking back over the last few days, no I haven't mentioned her before... One thing I did mention before, was on the 20th of last a month I got a letter about a safety recall on my old Saturn, about the airbags not deploying in an accident. I mentioned how I was going to try to get some compensation due to the PTSD I've been suffering through since the accident. Well I called around and every lawyer I spoke with said that I needed to get medical proof that I had it. So I started looking.

Besides wanting proof that I've been suffering because of the accident, I also want to try to get some help with my problems. I can't really afford a Doctor, but I can't afford to keep suffering like I am, it's damaging my health in more ways than one. Besides, once I get myself started with her, I can get Nojuan in to see her since she also does things with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) patients, and she can help us prove that he does have it so we can try to get him some help of his own.

I'm nervous as Hell about this meeting with her on the 14th, since I have a pysch-phobia. My first introductions to shrinks wasn't the best of intros, so since then I can't even think of talking to one. This meeting already has my nerves rattled, and it's still over a week away. In a way I want it to get here as quick as it can, so I can be done and over with it... But to the other side of it, I don't want it to get here at all, so I can take my time getting to it, and not have to deal with it anytime soon. My fears rock my nerves to the core. It's so bad I could barely talk to the psychiatrist that was evaluating Nojuan for his BPD hearing. It wasn't even in relation to me and I had trouble dealing with it. I was glad I had the day off because Nojuan ended p having to drive us home since I couldn't make myself get behind the wheel. I was a shaking, drained mess, so I'm kind of glad the old Beaver downstairs is nice enough to give me rides.

Anyway, I might getting back into writing, but I'll keep you guys posted on that. I need to get some rest.

Signing off,
Lily