*sings* If you got leavin' on your mind, tell me now, get it over..*stops singing, looks around* Oh wait, sorry, listening to old Patsy Cline. Gods I miss her music. When I was a little kit my gramps used to play her songs on cassette in the car anytime we went driving. I recently downloaded some of her music to poke at my nostalgia. Lately it's been worse, I'll be honest with you. But that's not why I've been gone.

It's a mixture of internet not working, and my schedule is so crazy that when it is working, I'm sleeping so I can be ready to go back to work. Today is the first day I've had since the 7th and I'm enjoying the privacy. It's just me and Nojuan since thank the fucking Gods above, Xan FINALLY got the job at Alorica, where I used to work. He's during his training period now but he seems to be blending in just fine, so hopefully it'll be a good place for him. Him making what I used to will definitely help out with rent and everything, so that's good for me to know ^_^.

But, to my nostalgia... Honestly from the beginning of June until the beginning of August, I'm always an emotional wreck. June is leading into July, which is unfortunately when I lost my grandfather. July 3rd is the worst day for me since it's D-Day... And my birthday is the 27th, so it's a hard month in general. It take August showing up to make me feel better. I lost him to Alzheimer's and PTSD-Dementia (from his times in the wars) and it was one of the hardest things for me to go through since he was one of the most intellegent, brilliant men I knew. He knew how to get what he wanted, or do what he needed to get by and make his way through life. To watch him go from that, to someone who couldn't even use a spoon for yogurt because he didn't understand why his straw wasn't working was heartbreaking.

It put my family through Hell, but I know he would have never done it if he could have helped it. But that disease just doesn't care whether or not you want it, and unfortunately he was a victim of it. I won't lie, 14 years later I'm still affected by it, but it's only because I didn't have my dad as I was growing up. He left the day my youngest half-sister was born, and my gramps was the father figure I had growing up. So for me, to lose him, was losing my dad.

But anyway, still alive over here, just fighting with internet and my schedule, nothing I can't handle. At least once Xan starts bringing in checks I'll be able to afford takin' a day off. Can't wait for that.

Before I head off of here, I wanted to say thank you to the newest place viewing my blog, Venezuela! Thank you very much for joining in the viewers! Sorry to have you join on a down note, but things are going to be getting better soon!

Signing off,
Lily